Beauty and the Freak (All Human)
by LessonNumberOne
Summary: All her life Bella has been forced to hide that fact that she isn't like everyone else. The first person to learn her secret ended up telling the whole school in the cruelest way possible. Now she knows that there is no one to trust and no one to understand. That is until a certain pixie makes her way into Bella's life, changing everything she used to believe. G!P and lemons later
1. Chapter 1

**G!P fan fiction along with femslash. Don't like it? Then leave :] this will be all human since it would feel a bit complicated to add the supernatural. I'm trying to be realistic, but I'm not too aware on the topic. Also lemons will take place in further chapters.**

**Update: 4/23/13. Mistakes have been corrected, such as Alice's last name and the span of which Bella has lived in Forks and Lauren had known of Bella's... extra equipment... Ironic that I'm writing this and I can't say that word. **

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"_**As **__**human beings, we need to know that we are not alone, that we are not crazy or completely out of our minds, that there are other people out there who feel as we do, live as we do, love as we do, who are like us**__**" (Billy Joel).**_

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**_[September]_**

I walked across the parking lot toward the school entrance, paying no particular interest to anyone, although I could feel all of their eyes on the back of my head like daggers. Due to an incident that occurred the previous month, I was immediately branded a freak, but I couldn't blame my classmates. I _was _a freak. It was just hard to face the fact that everyone was fully aware of my situation below the belt.

I let out a deep sigh, readjusting the straps of my backpack nervously as I entered the school. I thought I'd be able to be lost in the crowd easily, but instead it seemed to part once they noticed the elephant in the room. They would act as if standing within a foot of me was practically a death sentence and I was some sort of contagious disease. Regardless of my extra appendage I was still a person, I couldn't help with what I was born with. So I pulled my hood over my head and chose to pretend they didn't exist, hoping they'd do the same.

The plan was short lived once I found my path intercepted by a girl with slender, jean-clad legs. I looked up to see Lauren, hands on her hips, her wavy blonde hair pulled into a tight bun, making her blue eyes all the more visible as I watched the judgment swim through them.

"Clear the way, chick with dick," Lauren snickered, earning a few laughs from the surrounding audience that began to swarm. It was funny how much of a coward people could be; only degrading others when they'd have a group to defend them.

I wasn't in the mood for her games however and clenched my jaw to hold back all the things I wanted to say to her. She was the one at fault for all of this yet I hadn't told anyone when I was questioned by the staff aware of the incident that occurred.

"Excuse me," I attempted to be as civil as possible, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of breaking me once more.

"_It _speaks!" she smirked. "That's what we should call you… I mean with you not exactly being a girl or boy, you're hardly even a person right? You're even below my dog and he's-"

Her words were cut off by the sound of my hand making contact with the side of her face, the sound echoing down the corridor. She stumbled backwards, clutching her cheek and looking to me in disbelief. She couldn't believe I had slapped her and honestly neither could I. For four years I had dealt with her endless teasing once she had discovered my secret, probably interpreting whatever we had as some sick friendship. But now… she had outed me to everyone.

"Fuck you," I hissed, turning on my heels only to run smack into the principle, Mrs. Greene. Her eyes narrowed, shaking her head in disappointment at me. When she had learned of my predicament she was more than understanding, serving as a helping hand along with a listening ear. I sank my head in shame, staring at the floor. It felt like my world was crumbling and I kept stumbling over the debris. Why couldn't I just fall already?

"Shouldn't you all be getting to class by now?!" She barked, causing everyone to scurry off like mice toward their individual classes. As the area began to clear, Mrs. Greene halted Lauren, informing her there was still much to discuss before she'd be going anywhere, earning much mumbling of swear words under Lauren's breath that only I managed to hear.

"Come along you two."

* * *

I sat in the office, fidgeting with the zipper of my hoodie as I slide it up and down, forcing it to close and open repeatedly until I earned a pestered look from the secretary.

"Sorry," I whispered, ceasing my actions only to start shaking my leg in an attempt to calm myself. How much trouble would I be in? Thankfully this was my first offense, but still, I had slapped a student. Even if she had provoked me, violence was never the answer. Or at least that's what the teachers said.

I was snapped out of my worries once I looked up to see one of the prettiest sights my eyes were ever welcomed to experiencing. A pixie like goddess stepped into view from the hallway, her black hair sticking up in every direction. She wore tight fitted jeans, which showed off her slender legs and a navy blue v-neck beneath her tan leather jacket.

"Alice Brandon, junior," she handed the secretary a sheet of paper, beaming at Mrs. Cope who returned it quickly. Even I had to admit her smiles seemed to be a bit contagious. "Sorry for being late, we had a bit of difficulty locating the school."

"Oh no worries have a seat while I print out your schedule," Mrs. Cope eyed me once Alice's back was turned to her, silently warning me not to do anything that would frighten away the new student. But as I watched the pixie bounce her way over to me from the corner of my eye, I could tell it would take a lot to sour her mood.

"Hi I'm Alice," she held out a hand once she took the seat beside me, half turned in her seat. I peeked back over at the secretary whose eyes narrowed as she expected me to at least humor her in pretending I wasn't some socially awkward reject who'd never have a chance at a normal relationship. Great… I was starting to throw myself a pity party.

"I'm Bella," I forced my best smile, taking her hand within mine and noticing how well it fit within my own. It was warm, despite the constant cold of Forks and soft despite well, anything. Not to mention the fact that with her sitting closer to me I was able to make out the features of her face a lot more clearly. She had to be the prettiest girl I had ever been given the chance of meeting.

I was suddenly brought to the realization that I had been shaking her hand for well over a minute along with staring directly at her like a complete idiot.

"S...Sorry," I stuttered out, pulling my hand back before sneaking a glance over at Mrs. Cope who thankfully had busied herself back on the computer, trying to find Alice's schedule to print I presume. However I could sense the small hint of a smile on her face that she attempted to hide. _Very sneaky…_

Alice only giggled in response luckily, dismissing the awkward situation as if it were nothing.

"So how long have you been going here?" Alice asked, her attention fully on me which caused me to shift in my chair uncomfortably as I would look her in the eyes only to force my gaze elsewhere occasionally.

"I'm a junior so this is my third year, I've lived here since I was ten so I'd be available if you needed a tour guide."

Her smile brightened at my suggestion, leaning in slightly closer. Already I could tell she was one of those touchy feely kinds of people, which I usually had to distance myself from the most. However, Alice seemed to be a bit more accepting than most people. Still I had been hurt too badly to trust this girl too easily.

"Alice, your schedule is ready," Mrs. Cope spoke from behind the desk. It took me a moment to realize we had both been staring at one another and I quickly re-positioned myself from facing her and averted my eyes to the ground. I could still feel Alice's eyes on me and a blush began to creep into my cheeks, forcing me to undo my ponytail and release a curtain of hair to cut off the connection. I couldn't afford another friend, they'd only hurt me in the end.

Alice took the hint and stood, making her way over to the desk and taking the schedule as she thanked her kindly, turning back to me. I risked a glance upward only to see her smile gently at me. I wondered if she could sense that I had been hurt, like it was something that kind people had a sixth sense about. She walked passed me, waving.

"I'll hold you to your word about being my guide," she said sternly with a hint of playfulness. I couldn't help cracking a grin at her as I watched her leave.

Immediately this grin was wiped clear off my face once I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Mrs. Greene stood, looking down at me.

"I heard Lauren's side, now I'd like to hear yours. So if you will," she gestured for me to join her in her office, leading me inside to see Lauren seated in the chair with an unreadable expression.

* * *

I had missed two whole periods, which I knew I could make up easily since I didn't exactly have any friends that would distract me from doing anything else. Although a certain pixie had imprinted on my brain, leaving her mark. I wondered how she'd react once the word got around to her that I was packing more than school supplies.

Another idea that lingered in the back of my head was the fact that until Lauren and I managed to overcome our issues, we'd be forced to go to detention every day until the end of the year, which sadly was many months away. That wouldn't have been a problem for me since I was good at sweeping things under the rug for the sake of moving on, but of course Lauren was definitely more stubborn, threatening to get her parents involved. Even I knew she was bluffing since no child would be particularly proud of telling their parents they were making fun of a student with a birth defect.

I made my way over to Trigonometry, reading over the note that Mrs. Greene had scribbled out hurriedly before sending me on my way. Didn't she realize the looks I'd receive coming in late? _This was going to be a long day…_

Once I entered the classroom I was correct on my assumption, I could feel all eyes on me. My cheeks reddened almost immediately and I cursed myself for getting embarrassed so easily. I handed the note to Mr. Varner, quickly scurrying off to my regular seat. It took me a moment to realize I had desk mate, approaching hesitantly before sitting down beside them.

"Hi Bella," Alice whispered, eyes beginning to flicker around the room as she began to notice how much attention had been placed on me.

I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at this although I quickly suppressed it. I was mildly depressed over the fact that Alice would probably receive the news about me before the end of the day.

"You don't want to be my friend Alice," I said flatly, pretending to focus back on Mr. Varner who had his back to the class as he wrote on the chalkboard.

"Why? Because of your…?" she trailed off, not exactly sure what to say that wouldn't offend me. I turned to her wide eyed, confused as to why she would still attempt to socialize with me when she had full knowledge of what exactly made me an outcast.

"Y… Yeah that. You're uh, you know normal and easily likable. Why hang around someone like me?" I wondered. Why was she even talking to me? Maybe it was all a part of a sick joke to break me even more. But I had to admit, her answer told me that she genuinely interested in getting to know more about the real me and not the title that had been placed over my head.

"The people that have to deal with real problems, they're the most down to earth in my opinion. They aren't as shallow as people who will never understand what it means to be hurt and branded as some sort of outcast. That's why I want to be your friend… I won't have to fake being someone I'm not," Alice never took her eyes off me as she spoke, holding my gaze. For a moment I forgot about people watching us. About the fact that I had absolutely no friends. I only thought of Alice, her words and the fact that I was beginning to develop a crush over the pixie.

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**AN: I really need to start posting during the daytime instead of midnight. It's like those people who like your pictures at 3 am in the morning like creeps... anyways how did you like it?**


	2. Chapter 2

_"**Sometimes ****you have to take a ****leap of faith. Trust in the universe. Believe in the power of positive thinking and the laws of attraction"**** (Unknown).**_

_**Update: 4/23/13. I'm on a roll, I freaking swear.**_

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**_[Later that day]_**

Once Mr. Varner had turned to face us once more, Alice and I had to ceased our whispering, refocusing our attention on him. A few moments later I could feel a hand tap my thigh lightly, causing me to almost jump. I glanced over at Alice who was trying to contain herself laughter as she stared down at the desk and my eyes narrowed suspiciously until I dropped them to see that she was holding a folded note in her hand that was extended between the two of us, I took it as sneakily as possible, unfolding it in my lap.

_Want to eat lunch together?_

I couldn't help but smirk at how juvenile it was to ask such a question when she could have just asked me when we were out. Perhaps she thought I'd make a break for it as soon as the bell rang, which honestly was probably what I would have ended up doing. It was beginning to make me nervous at how friendly Alice was towards me. She knew that I was a freak yet she chose to offer me kindness instead of isolation. I knew I should have been grateful to have someone to understand that this was something I had no control over, yet… I was still a bit apprehensive.

But being me, I knew I shouldn't pass up the chance at having a partner to sit with during lunch since I usually had to busy myself in the library or outside on the benches which had become pretty boring as of late. So I scribbled my answer quickly.

_ Yeah of course_

I handed it back into her expecting hand, feeling as our fingertips graze one another's and causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. I noticed the same reaction on Alice's arm and she dismissed it well, pulling the note onto her lap to read. She beamed down at it, her eyes flickering to the front of the room, delighted to see Mr. Varner facing away from us once more before scribbling an answer and placing it over her mouth before turning to face me with a slight glint in her eyes. I leaned slightly closer, squinting my own eyes to read.

_Can't wait!_

* * *

After my encounter with Alice I was strangely upbeat, humming along to a familiar song as I headed to my next period once class ended. It had been a long time since I wasn't in complete, well… despair, walking down these awful halls that held a lot of memories I'd cringe to think about. Maybe I should have tried to give Alice a chance, I needed a friend. In fact, I think that's one of the basic necessities of surviving high school. You'd go insane without one, which I constantly would think was happening to me.

However, I was still wary as to why Alice sought out my company. I was the school outcast and seeking out a friendship with me would only diminish the chance of making any others. People would act as if it were elementary school and I had cooties, avoiding me at all cost but never missing the chance to point out exactly how I was different from everyone else. Obviously everyone lacked a certain level of maturity and I didn't want to be responsible when Alice had to deal with the constant teasing I had to on a daily basis. And what if it was all just a game to Alice? So she could manage to get me to reveal all of my secrets to her, only to turn around and spread them around school. I guess that's why they called it a leap of faith; you could only hope that the outcome would be positive through much uncertainty.

I pondered about both thoughts through the whole Spanish period, ignoring the glares Lauren constantly kept sending my way from across the room. I was somewhere else, possibly better.

* * *

I stood near the exit of the cafeteria, tray in hand immediately regretting my decision to be there in the first place. I could feel all eyes on me from every direction and the not so secretive whispers of passing students. Throughout the whole year I had never once entered the cafeteria, even before the incident. It was foreign territory to me and with everything that had happened the previous Friday; I was practically asking to be degraded by my fellow classmates.

I turned on my heels then, ready to leave as quickly as possible before I heard the sound of someone calling my name from across the cafeteria. I should have left when I had the chance. Reluctantly, I turned my head in the direction of the voice, seeing Alice waving with a goofy grin on her face, sitting across from a familiar looking brunette who had their back turned to me, taking a deep sigh; I made my way over to her table. All surrounding students went quiet once they realized I had become acquaintances with the new girl.

"Hey Bella! Were you planning on ditching me?" she teased, nodding to the exit. I blushed guiltily, a bit ashamed that she had noticed. I slid into the seat beside her, looking down as my face increased in reddening.

"W...Well I didn't see you so I just assumed…" I began to trail off, a sudden lump growing in the back of my throat. Why did she make me so nervous? Wait I knew the answer to that already, I was developing an infatuation over the girl I hardly knew, but craved to learn more about.

"Bella, one thing you should know about me is to never assume. Even I admit that I'm extremely unpredictable. Isn't that right Ang?" Alice looked across the table and I followed suit, realizing that Angela had been watching the two of silently as she sipped at her drink. Our eyes locked onto one another's before she directed them away, placing her bottle of water back on the table.

"Yeah… not a thing you do is predictable Alice," she deadpanned, a hidden meaning within her words. Regardless of how dense I was on social cues, I could tell she was referring to the fact that Alice had invited the school weirdo to sit with her. Another thing I managed to pick up on was how familiar the two of them were. I looked to Alice questionably and she only giggled, gesturing to Angela.

"She's my cousin. Well step-cousin technically," she informed me, taking a bite from her sandwich.

"What?!" I exclaimed. What a small world we lived in….

Alice was shocked by response, I allowed her to swallow her bite before explaining further.

"I used to live in California with my mom and dad until we got a call from Uncle Nathan saying there was an opening at the hospital here. Even my dad couldn't refuse it. And I couldn't blame him, but it also me a chance to my lovely older cousin again," Alice grinned, reaching across the table to pinch Angela's cheek. The older girl rolled her eyes, smacking Alice's hand away.

"Hey! What about Josh and Isaac? They're probably even more excited to see you," she pointed out.

"I guess, but they're twelve. I can't even relate to them. And they're _boys_," Alice smirked knowingly and Angela scoffed, shifting her eyes back to me finally. Was I missing something?

I thought they had forgotten I was even there as I watched their little exchange, nibbling absent mindedly at my own sandwich until Angela finally returned her gaze back to me.

"So… did everything go alright with the whole Lauren thing?"

I could notice the genuine concern in Angela's expression, which gave me a slight wave of nostalgia for the days when I could seek out her company. But of course, Lauren managed to shatter all of that last month.

"Y…Yeah. We kind of have detention until we manage to work it out."

"Detention?! Is that why you were in the office? I never took you for a badass Bella," Alice grinned, revealing how intrigued she was as she pressed for more.

"I'm not really a badass If anything I'm un-badass although there's probably a better word for that…" I explained, trying to be coy despite the fact that I was rather flattered by her sort of compliment.

"So what'd you do?" Alice asked, placing a hand on my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. I turned my head to look at her as I felt a strange wave of electricity travel through me that I was entirely unfamiliar with. I immediately tensed beneath her touch and she dropped her hand almost abruptly.

"Sorry…" I shook my head, noticing Angela look up at us from her lunch in my peripheral vision. "I just got into a… altercation with Lauren."

"Bella you slapped her," Angela deadpanned.

"You slapped her?!" Alice shouted, claiming the attention of near bye tables. She immediately lowered her voice, giving me an apologetic look.

"She called me _'It'_, I was just fed up with how they were all looking at me, like I wasn't even a person. I don't even know what came over me," I admitted.

"No one's judging you Bella, at least I'm not. She probably deserved it and if I were there I might have been you to the punch, literally. Your physical appearance shouldn't be what makes you acceptable as a person, how you treat others should," Alice assured with a smile. I could only muster a nod and at the moment I wondered whether or not I could really try letting her in, let her know of my worries, my pains, and my confusions. But I couldn't. The thought of rejection always forced away those sorts of thoughts.

"If I wasn't already at class I may I have said something too. I heard it's her fault the whole school knows about your…" she eyes immediately dropped to the table that held my crotch out of view, blushing discretely and I instinctively placed my hands on my lap, sensing Alice's eyes travel there as well, getting a better view since she was beside me.

"Can we just drop the whole Lauren subject?" I demanded, glaring down at the table.

"Sure… could I ask you a few questions about your _friend_?" Alice offered a curious smile. I looked at her in disbelief. My _friend_ wasn't really a topic for discussion, especially with Angela sitting across from us. And unfortunately Angela sensed this as well, standing quickly before sending a wink my way. _Don't go, _I silently wished.

"I'll see you later guys," she threw over her shoulder before going off with her tray to join a table with her friends, completely ignoring my pleading eyes. I mumbled a few curse words beneath my breath. Was it just me or could seniors be complete jackasses sometimes?

"Wh…What do you want to know?" I was shocked as to why I was even going to try to speak about it.

"Well for one, how is it even possible? Did you have surgery and that's why everyone is so-"

"I'm intersex," I cut her off. "I was born this way, I could have surgery but it would definitely be too risky and neither of my parents wanted to put me through that, especially in my case since I have a fully functioning…"

"Penis," Alice finished when I chose not to, giggling at my shocked reaction and causing me to stare at her wide eyed. "What?! You have one, shouldn't you be comfortable with using the word pe-"

"Alright thank you," I put up a hand to stop her, causing her to go into a laughing fit. "I am comfortable with the word. I'd just rather not think about the detail that causes me to be entirely different from everyone else."

"Well if it changes anything, I don't think it's anything to be self conscious about. It makes you, you. And so far I've seen that you are someone I'd actually enjoy getting to know further as opposed to the simpletons here, especially that girl Jennifer," she dramatically rolled her eyes.

"I think you mean Jessica," I corrected, chuckling at her slip up.

"Exactly my point! I'll just forget her name later because in my opinion she's not someone worth remembering. She's just another white sheep, waiting for the shepherd. But you Bella… you are a black sheep."

"Thanks I guess," I smiled, amused by her little outburst, pushing my tray away when I knew I wouldn't be able to eat any further. Alice took another drink of water, placing it down as she followed suit as well, having been given the advantage of getting her lunch before me.

Despite her petite figure she still had a fiery attitude that I couldn't help but admire. It seemed as if we were complete opposites but then again…

"…opposites attract, you know?"

"What?" Was she a mind reader now too?

"I was just saying that we're going to be great friends, I can just sense it."

"Oh…" I let out the breath I had been holding in.

"Why? Were you thinking the same thing?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively, a smirk playing around her lips.

"Something like that," I shrugged, relieved at the sound of the bell ring. It was becoming harder and harder to ignore the growing feelings I was beginning to have for Alice. I had only known her for a day and yet… I was falling. And falling hard.

"Well see you at PE. You have it sixth period right?" She asked, pushing out her chair and standing.

"Sure. Wait how do you know I have it sixth period?"

"I have my sources," she winked, backing away from me before turning around and prancing away.

Yup I was falling for the pixie and I couldn't help but smile at the thought, regardless of how much it scared a fraction of me. Another part, the real me who wasn't scared of all the things I'd usually concern myself with, was happy that I had found someone that might just revive me back into being the happy person I once was.

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**AN: Thank you for all the feedback! Hopefully I didn't lower your guy's opinion of the story with this chapter. I kind of had to sit down and force myself to focus. So please review, I'd really love to hear your input and ideas for further chapters. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: There will be the use of foul words, which probably will be a recurring thing in my chapters. **

**PS: Since this is over 3k words and almost midnight (as expected) please don't pay too much mind to grammatical errors. I just felt the need to post this before I go to bed or I won't be able to sleep xD**

**Update: 4/23/13 **

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**"****Life equals running and when we stop running maybe that's how we'll know life is finally finished."(****Patrick Ness).**

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_******[Sixth Period]**_

I followed along the crowd toward PE, attempting to ignore the not so nice comments others made about having to change in the same locker room as me. I was contemplating on telling them not to flatter themselves and even I had better standards than that, but speaking up only had a negative effect. So I'd rather deal with putting up with them than saying anything.

"She should be in the guys' locker room. Then they could compare dick sizes," a familiar voice sneered as we entered the locker room, causing me to look in their direction. Lauren was staring directly at me with those pale blue eyes. Originally I used to think that anyone with blue eyes was automatically kind, pure, and naturally a decent person, but knowing Lauren, that could no longer be true.

"Something to say _It_?" she challenged. I only shook my head, preparing to turn and headed toward my locker.

"I do," someone chimed up from behind me. I looked back to see Alice glaring in Lauren's direction. _Oh shit…_

Lauren stopped in her tracks, clearly surprised to see anyone come to my defense, but she quickly masked this with a scowl. Alice stopped a foot from her, crossing her arms as she looked over the blonde. Before we knew it, we had all stopped to watch as well.

"And what might that be?" Lauren claimed, stepping slightly closer and towering over the pixie easily. Alice seemed unfazed by this however, looking up to return Lauren's gaze with an even colder one.

"That you can only raise your own self esteem by hurting someone lower than yourself, which in my opinion is weaker than anyone at this school. And her name isn't '_It'. _Her name is Bella and she's definitely stronger than you or me for that matter because I'd never be able to tolerate a single thing you just said about her," Alice stated firmly.

Everyone seemed to go quiet, shocked that not only did she defend me, but she had managed to put Lauren Mallory in her place as well. You could practically see the anger rolling off the blonde in waves as she grinded her teeth.

"I do _not_ have low self esteem, I mean look at me," Lauren smirked, gesturing to her body before her eyes shifted to me."It's just disgusting that they'd let that monstrosity breath the same air as us, let alone change in the same locker room. And when _It _decided to grow a little crush for a particular senior, I took the opportunity to show everyone just how much of a freak _It _is. So I wouldn't call myself weak, I was doing a kindness to society to keep that _thing_ from reproducing, if _It_ even can..."

It was strange how much her words hurt me, I had put up with her words for years and yet… this was the first time I actually shattered from the weight they put on me. She didn't even have any remorse for making feel like complete shit constantly, it was like she craved the thought of knowing that everyday I'd be as broken as the day before. I was becoming fed up to be honest.

"Why does it even matter what I do?" I said, almost inaudible, but managing to reach Lauren's ears. I watched Alice turn to face me, an apologetic expression on her face for unintentionally making this situation worse. But it wasn't her fault. It was Lauren's, everything was _her_ fault. And when she decided to speak I cut her off.

"Because you're a-"

"Shut the hell up!" I shrieked, stepping forward to Lauren who collected herself quickly to stand her ground. "I know I'm different, you remind me of it every-fucking-day. Do you know how shitty I feel, knowing that no one accepts what I had no control over? I've done nothing to you Lauren, when you found out, you promised you wouldn't tell a soul and I let you treat me like shit because at least you kept your promise. But when I chose to finally give myself a bit of happiness by liking someone, you suddenly can't tolerate it? Am I supposed to be alone for the rest of my life? How the hell is that even fair?! I got the worst end of the deal in life; I deserve it more than anyone!" It took me a moment to realize I was shouting and I quickly put the cap back on my emotions, backing away. I was trembling ever so slightly from the rage mixed with the adrenaline.

Everyone was stunned since I had never said more than a sentence when it came to defending myself. And with the drama that morning, I wouldn't be surprised if they feared I'd come to school tomorrow with a gun.

I used to believe that I deserved it all in a way, but Alice was beginning to show me otherwise. That whatever it was, it was Lauren's issue and not mine. And I shouldn't have been forcing myself to deal with her crap for years. And usually after an outburst in movies, the antagonist apologizes and begins to blubbering like an idiot about how much of an ass they were for unknowingly causing you so much pain, but let's be realistic. The odds of that happening are pretty slim in today's society. So instead Lauren just scoffed, rolling her eyes although I could sense that I struck a nerve. She turned to walk away, her band of loyal followers trailing behind her as if they just witnessed their owner get the crap beaten out of them.

"Let's go Bella," Alice whispered, tugging me hand. I gave Lauren's retreating figure one last cold look before allowing Alice to pull me away.

* * *

I began to shut down again, closing myself off from the world, from Alice. It was nothing personal, it was a defense mechanism. That's what the school counselor used to say before she was forced to end our sessions when I refused to be audible about most of my issues. I didn't blame her; I wasn't even worth investing time in and with only one counselor it was understandable.

So when Alice asked me where my locker was located, I only started walking in its direction, silently informing her that, that was the way. I could tell she felt bad about it all and I couldn't blame her. Not once had Lauren ever been cruel enough to degrade me in front of everyone aside from the past Friday. Although I was forced to endure complete embarrassment last Friday, it was better than to hear Lauren's complete disgust vocalized for everyone to hear.

When we approached my locker Alice read along a sheet of paper she held in her hands, looking to the locker across from me. _Oh God, please have enough mercy not to let this be what I think it is…_

"Looks like we'll be locker buddies," Alice chimed, clasping her hands together as she looked to me with a wide smile.

"Yay," I said monotonously

"No need to be so enthusiastic Bella," she said, matching my tone. I genuinely thought I had offended her before she cracked, replacing her frown with a smirk.

"So do you change here or head to the stalls?" Alice wondered.

"Usually back here since it's the last row and majority of the juniors claimed the ones closer to the entrance, giving me some privacy. And if I went to the stalls I'd have to pass Lauren who'd probably make some snide remark about me checking her out, which I'd rather not endure," I explained. She looked to me pitifully and I only shrugged my shoulders. One way or another I'd become used to the teasing eventually. That or I could take comfort in the thought of leaving this god awful place next year.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier. I just wanted to help but I feel like I made things worse," she confessed. I looked to her with a mixture of admiration and confusion. Perhaps it was because she hadn't known Lauren as long as me, but this would have happened eventually. I had slapped the girl for heaven's sake.

"Don't worry about it alright? No one has ever really stuck up for me before, I mean Angela would give me company and everything, her presence kind of scared Lauren off, but you're the first to actually _say _something instead of just tolerating it. That's pretty impressive, especially for a new kid."

"That's another thing… Lauren mentioned you having a thing for a senior. Was Angela that senior?" I swore I sensed a hint of jealousy in her voice.

"Uh… yeah. I did, but with everything that happened I just kind of realized it was stupid of me to actually think I could be with anyone. Plus, it was just like a kindergarten crush. When you like girls and everything, I hear it's pretty common to like other girls you become close to, just like with straight people. I'm pretty sure it was an appreciation for her if anything," I admitted, my eyes going wide at the realization that I just admitted to being gay, but then again wouldn't have been irregular for me to like guys? Alice pursed her lips, thinking something over. _There goes my first possible friendship, good job Bella. _

"Bella, honestly I think it's pretty stupid of you to believe that being intersex will actually prevent you from _ever _having a relationship. Sure not everyone is accepting, but there are people like me who see nothing wrong with it. If it matters, I'd date you without a second thought," she grinned mischievously when I blushed like a madman.

"T…Thanks for the offer even if it's only a joke. It's pretty obvious someone like you wouldn't swing that way," I avoided eye contact with her then, twisting the bolt on my locker and pulling open. I peeked over at her to see her shaking her head.

"Tsk tsk Bella," Alice waved her finger at me, leaning sideways against the locker beside me.

"What?"

"I told you not to assume anything about me. I'm unpredictable remember? So who's to say I play by everyone's rules and let them decide that I'm straight just because I'm a woman? That doesn't sound fair at all and highly unlike me, wouldn't you agree?" She strode over to her locker, opening it before looking back at me for a response.

I was somewhat startled since she technically asked three questions, but understood that the first two were mostly rhetorical.

"I guess so. So you're a…" I trailed off, not exactly comfortable using the word so easily.

"Lesbian? As I've said, I don't let people decide for me, meaning I don't do labels. I believe that love is love, regardless of the gender," She expressed. "Be happy you're cute because I wouldn't have given the time to explain it to anyone else," she added with a wink.

Becoming flustered once more, I focused back on my gym clothes.

"Well uh… we should probably start getting dressed or Coach Clapp will make us do laps," I informed her.

"If anything I could just lie and tell him I had some difficulty finding my locker. I can be pretty persuasive." There goes that all-knowing smirk again. I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to decipher the meaning to her words so I focused back on looking at my locker, shrugging off my hoodie and listening as Alice did the same.

After tugging off my shirt I realized I'd have to turn around to get my gym uniform off the bench. So I sneaked a glance Alice's way. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately she was bending over as she slid off her jeans, giving me a clear view of her ass, her panties hugging her so well I could even make out her… _Bad Bella!_

Immediately I grabbed my gym uniform, jerking my head away so quickly I swore I got whiplash. Through my daze I wondered if I was hallucinating the sound of Alice's giggling ringing through my ears.

* * *

Alice was killing me. There was no phrase as simple as that. The more I looked at her, the more appealing she would become. No one had ever made the gym uniform look so appealing and I found myself ogling at her each time it was her turn to serve in volleyball. Time to time I'd be pulled away from my adoration when Lauren would send a spike my way, forcing me to duck out of the way or attempt to hit it in all sorts of directions.

In a way I was thankful to Lauren for the distraction because I couldn't help but feel lascivious as I thought further about a certain pixie. Somehow I had managed to avoid getting hard or managing to hide it well for sixteen -almost seventeen- years. And with the thin material of the gym shorts I knew there'd be no way of properly hiding it. Occasionally a male student would have the same issue and they'd never hear the end of it, even now. So I wouldn't especially with being in the death sights of Lauren.

So when Coach Clapp had exited the room to speak with a fellow faculty member and decided to dismiss the game allowing for us to go into free play where we'd be given the privilege of doing anything as long as it included excising, I was ecstatic to head over to the bleachers and take a seat, ready to hop back up whenever he came striding back in through the double doors.

I shut my eyes tightly, reciting the alphabet backwards and imagining as I drew each letter in my head. Somehow anything involving school work usually would usually do the trick in killing your mood when you were coming dangerously close to having a boner.

"Well, well, well. I don't think we're supposed to be sitting down, Bella. I might even have to tell the teacher," I opened my eyes to see Alice fake scolding me, waving her index finger as she approached me.

_She couldn't have had the worst of timings…_

"I just needed to take a break," I noted, technically I wasn't lying. Just not being entirely truthful…

"I get what you mean. Lauren had no mercy with those spikes. I wish I got to be on your team, I could have blocked some of those for you," she grinned triumphantly.

"Someone say my name?" Lauren strode over, her hips swaying ever so slightly. If she wasn't such a well, bitch, I might have been under her trance just like everyone else. She was beautiful for crying out loud, but even I had enough self respect not to subject myself to such treatment. Behind her, her usual band of followers trailed behind; a bit hesitant with everything that had happened earlier.

"Of course we were. You're pretty irresistible you know that?" Alice grinned, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh I know I am, as opposed to…" Lauren's eyes shifted over to me, scoffing as she took in my appearance. It immediately made me self conscious but I made no movement to perfect whatever flaw she saw.

Alice looked my way then, smiling.

"I see nothing wrong with Bella. She might even be prettier than you Lauren." She never took her eyes off of me, shooting me a quick wink. A couple girls snickered behind Lauren, preparing for their leader's response.

"Obviously you haven't seen what she's _packing_ then, have you?" Lauren shot back, causing Alice to face her once more.

"You're right I haven't. And there's probably still a lot for me to learn about her and everyone basically, but so far I've seen that she's a better person than you and your pack of dogs that walk with their tails between their legs because their afraid of you. You make fun of her for not having a single friend, but who's to say any of yours are even real and will be there when you have completely nothing?" Alice questioned. _Damn the girl was good at coming up with comebacks… _

"I do have friends," Lauren snarled. "And regardless of whether they have their tails between their legs or not, at least they don't have a dick where a particular part should be instead," she smirked. _Was she trying to make me have an emotional break down?_

"I see nothing wrong with it. As long as she has a brain and heart, who's to say there's anything wrong with her, if only the same could be said about you-"

"Listen,_ Alice_, I realize your cousin's a senior, but I can guarantee I'll make your life a living hell," Lauren threatened.

"I could hardly care less… as long as I'm with the people I enjoy I don't need a single meaningless friend in the world," Alice spread out her arms, shrugging carelessly.

"Even a faggot like her?" Lauren smirked, sending me a pointed glance. I could sense Alice tense under the word, seemingly the only thing that struck a nerve, but she did well to hide it. The only reason I had noticed would probably be for the fact of how observant I had become over the years since all I really did was sit on the sidelines as life progressed.

Alice stood then, standing directly in front of Lauren before she leaned forward to press her lips against the blonde's. All air was sucked from each party as we watched in shock and partly lust in my case though I'd never admit to it.

Lauren quickly shoved her back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before looking around to see who saw. Fortunately for her only the surrounding parties had seen. I could fully guarantee I wouldn't feel the need to spread this around, but Lauren's supposed friends, I wasn't too sure about.

"Now you're a faggot too," Alice chimed, bursting into a laughing fit.

"Freaks!" Lauren exclaimed before stalking off. The girls quickly followed behind, peeking over at Alice with deep concern for the new girl's mental stability. This only fueled Alice's laughter even more, collapsing beside me on the bleachers.

"Uh Alice…" I stared at the pixie questionably, who looked over at me as if she noticed me for the first time.

"I'm unpredictable remember?" she managed to say after a full minute of uninterrupted laughing, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. One thing was for sure, I had managed to control myself somehow, but odds are I'd be in predicaments close to these in the oncoming future.

* * *

**AN: So I managed to finish this although I have a throbbing headache that seemed to get worse with the crappy endings I had written before this final one. Tell me what you think and any possible suggestions. All would be highly welcomed.**


	4. Chapter 4

"_**In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit**__**" (**__**Albert Schweitzer**__**).**_

* * *

**_[October]_**

Before I even realized it, a month had gone by, my unusual friendship with Alice blooming in the process. We both seemed to have a mutual understanding for the world, although Alice's outlook on life was definitely a lot more positive than mine, allowing our personalities to accommodate to one another's. It was nice, of course I'd still receive looks in the halls or hear rude comments some would cast my way, but none of it really mattered. Each morning I'd be welcomed by the sight of Alice, who'd greet me with a warm smile, melting away all the negatives.

On a particular Friday we had claimed an outdoor bench as our own during lunch. Alice was perched up on the table with me sitting between her knees as she absentmindedly played with my hair. I couldn't help but notice and savor each time her finger tips would graze my scalp or slide through my hair as she combed it with her fingers. It felt… nice. And that was a lot for someone like me to say. I had slowly begun to adjust to Alice's overly friendly nature, taking note that this was how she communicated with others.

"Hey Bella…" Alice's voice chimed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hmmm?" I murmured, still a bit side tracked.

"Well I've been mentioning you a lot to my parents lately and they're kind of excited to meet you. And since we usually have movie nights on Friday's to celebrate the closing of another week, we could make a night out of it. You could even sleep over so… what do you think?" Alice asked somewhat intently and I was glad to not be facing her as my eyes grew wide, however I knew she could still feel me tense beneath her touch.

A sleepover? In all honesty, I had only gone to one sleep over in my entire life aside from the occasional visit with relatives and truthfully I no longer had any idea how they worked and was slightly fearful that it would be a repeat of my last sleep over with a friend, which definitely wasn't something I'd like to relive.

And for the little time I had gotten to know Alice, her voice never held such vulnerability and definitely never revealed a sense of nervousness. I guess this would be the best way of showing my gratitude to the times she had defended me against Lauren throughout the past month.

"Sure. I'd love to…"

* * *

_Could I back out now or was it too late? _

I paced around my room anxiously, my nerves completely out of control. I was fully dressed after spending an hour with my mother on deciding what to wear. We ended up settling on a loose black; long sleeve v-neck accompanied by a white tank-top beneath and well fitted jeans, with a pair of high top converse to finish it off.

"Bella!" my mom called from downstairs, once clock neared 6:30. I sighed dramatically, sliding my overnight bag over my shoulder before exiting the room and making my way downstairs.

"Mom I think I feeling a bit s-"

"Don't even try it. As much as you've talked about Alice, even I wouldn't let you get away with staying," she declared.

"But mom… my condition-" mom chose to cut me off once more, putting up her hand to ensure that I would hear her out.

"Bella there is nothing wrong with you. I refuse to consider it as a condition because that would mean that I believed you were born with a single flaw. Of course you're different sweetie, but that doesn't always mean it's a bad thing. You have to allow yourself some happiness eventually, not everyone is going to turn you away. And besides, you've told me already that she knows and she hasn't run the other way. So just let yourself enjoy it Bella, that's all I ask. Be outgoing for once and stop always limiting yourself."

For a moment I stared at my mom in appreciation, opening my mouth as I felt obliged to say something, but nothing came to mind. Of course my mom had witnessed the pain I went through all my life, but she never really spoke aloud of her opinion, knowing that I was a person involved in my own head, who took comfort in space. Of course like any mom, she'd try to push me to try new things, but never forced. So for the first time, since possibly my childhood, I initiated a hug, pulling her in closely and she returned it with much feeling.

That was probably the first time in a while that I felt like her daughter, instead of the freak who lived upstairs, willingly shut out from the rest of the world.

* * *

"Will dad be there when you get back?" I asked though I continued to stare out the passenger side window.

"Probably a few hours after, he said they're pretty loaded at the station," she answered although she didn't quite seem too convinced that this was the reason for his continued absence.

"You're supposed to turn right there," I pointed ahead, toward a small wooden trail. She turned on her turn signal, turning right.

"Bella are you sure these people aren't serial killers?" Mom joked lightly and I laughed along with her although it was a bit unsettling that they lived in a heavily forested area. For the next seven minutes we drove in silence since my mom was having a bit of difficulty finding the trail so late at night and the constant jostling of the car forced me to keep my mouth shut in fear that I might accidentally bite off my tongue.

Finally a house filled with lights came into view. My first thought of Alice's home was: _wow_. I guess I couldn't really expect less with a girl like Alice being a part of the family, but still. It was two stories tall, a rectangular shape and well proportioned. It was elegant, but also modern at the same time, giving off a timeless sense to it that you realized this house had to be a hundred years old although it was well kept. The color of the house was painted a soft, faded white and another thing… there were so many windows. It was as if they had no secrets and their life was open for the world to experience as well.

We pulled into the driveway and mom cut the engine, transfixed by the house. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was drooling.

"You might have a gift on choosing friends Bella…"

I rolled my eyes at my mom's star struck expression, opening the car door and hopping out. I looked to my mom expectantly and she quickly gathered herself before following suit. I could only shake my head at her sympathetically as I grabbed my overnight bag and shut the car door.

"So your friend…"

"Alice," I reminded her.

"Yes, Alice. Do her parents know too? Not that I see it as an issue, but I wouldn't want them casting some sort of judgment on my daughter…"

"Thanks mom, but I think they do, I mean she said she's spoken to them about me a lot and everything and her dad's a doctor so I think he'd be the last person to be close minded toward my situation since he's probably encountered it a few times himself."

"Alright well you have your phone so make sure to call me if anything goes wrong alright? I'll pick you up right away," she guaranteed. What was she getting so nervous for?

I chose to nod in response since I didn't exactly know what to say to her. Was she shocked that I actually managed to get a friend who wasn't a complete weirdo or into some sort of satanic worship? I guess it was reasonable since _I_ didn't even have a clue as to why Alice befriended me so willingly either. It was my mom's right as a parent to be concerned about whether her child was actually making a genuine friend or about to take place in someone's idea of a joke.

"Bella!" someone shouted from ahead. We were pulled from our conversation when I caught Alice bounding toward me and enveloping me in a hug that almost knocked me over.

"H…Hey," I stammered out. A bit embarrassed since my mom was watching from the side. I put my hands on Alice's waist, pulling back and smiling at her like a complete idiot. One thing I had also begun to notice over the past month was that my feelings for Alice were only intensifying with each thought I had of her.

"I was worried you wouldn't come," she winked, releasing me and turning to my mom. She held out a hand a hand to greet her.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Swan," Alice spoke, grinning.

"Well the feeling's mutual; Bella never stops talking about…"

I shot my mom a warning look and she immediately shut her mouth, replacing her words with a gentle smile. I wasn't quite too sure whether Alice noticed or just chose not to say anything, but either way her grin widened.

"My parents are waiting inside they're really excited to meet you both," Alice notified us, tugging me along behind her as my mom trailed behind the two of us.

* * *

Once Mom was sure that the Brandon's weren't secretly some sort of cult or sadistic killers, she took her leave, allowing for the sleepover to commence. After a formal greeting between Alice's parents and I, she finally pulled me behind her upstairs toward her room.

"I honestly have a life time supply of movies in there, along with Netflix. So try naming one I don't have and you'll be a legend," she smirked, opening the door to her room.

"Oooh a challenge," I grinned, trying to name a movie I was sure she wouldn't own.

"Don't strain yourself," she winked, pulling me into her room.

I took in the sight, it was so Alice. The theme of the room was blue and white, having the walls a shade of sky blue with frames of seashell white that decorated the walls. Each photo, Alice would either be with her parents, an unwilling Angela, or people I had never seen before and assumed to be old friends of hers. There were still a couple of unpacked boxes in the corner of the room, reminding me of the few I had seen downstairs. It was kind of ironic how she'd only been here for a month and was probably more adjusted than I had ever been.

There was a bunch of scattered drawings on Alice's desk to the left side of the door against the wall, naturally making me curious to see how talented of an artist Alice was, but I didn't want to come off as nosy, letting my eyes shift over to the bed, also a shade of sky blue with white floral prints. That's when I began to wonder where exactly I'd be sleeping.

"So I convinced my parents to let me retire from this week's movie night as long as I'd still be watching with someone. And you like pizza right? Because I was probably going to order some- wait your name is Bella, of course you like pizza."

"So since my name is Italian, I immediately have to love pizza?"

"Well yeah. Just like my name. Since its Alice, I immediately have to like the book _Alice in Wonderland_," she informed me, plopping down on her bed.

"I don't think that's how it works exactly…"

"Probably not, but that would pretty interesting right?" she beamed, pulling her phone out of her pocket and sliding her finger to unlock the screen. She looked back up at me quizzically. "Going to sit down or are you making a statement?" she giggled, patting the space beside her. I walked over and set my bag down beside her bed, taking a seat. I rubbed my hands along my thigh nervously, choosing to write an imaginary letter to myself

_Dear past self, _

_You're going to find yourself sitting beside an insanely beautiful goddess who has chosen to take human form and to make matters worse, you will be on her bed, trying to fight some rather dirty thoughts from making their way in your head. And if that isn't enough, there is a high possibility that the two of you will be sleeping in the same bed later that night. _

_Sincerely, _

_Your future self, who might actually die of a nosebleed by the end of the night. _

"Earth to Bella?" Alice's voice chimed, pulling me out of thought as she waved a hand in front of my face.

"Mmm?" I blinked twice before looking over at her.

"Wow, did you really leave earth for a second? I was just asking what topping you'd want before I order," Alice explained, arching an eyebrow. To assure her that was completely weirding out on her, I attempted to gather myself.

"Pepperoni is fine, I don't really mind."

"Hey that rhymed! Wait… what I just said just rhymed," she smirked. "But now I broke the chain," she pouted. _She looked really cute when she pouted…_

"Alright Isabella - whatever your middle name is - Swan! Prepare for the time of your life tonight. We shall slip into the abyss of teen angst, watching so many movies they'll somehow imprint into your brain. Now search for a movie to start this voyage while I go downstairs to see what my parents want and order. Just try not to look through my underwear drawer though. It really makes things awkward," she teased.

"It's Marie and no promises," I called after her as she slipped out of her room. I slightly shocked myself at the thought of actually playing along with her shameless flirting, although it was all harmless. Though the thought of looking through her underwear drawing did spark some interest… _Stop Bella! Try having a friend you don't have feelings for. _

I slid down from the bed to the floor, making my way over to the cabinet that held her flat screen on top. The girl wasn't lying when she said that she had every movie imaginable. There were all sorts of genres ranging from romantic comedy to sci-fi. It was pretty impressive since my family hardly had any movies from this decade, choosing to just purchase all the ones we enjoyed on the internet.

For a few minutes I'd pick up a few, looking them over, recalling a few I had seen, but none of them really too my interest. Not until I picked up a particular one, examining it to see the title read: _Sixteen Candles._ There had been multiple occasions where I'd almost watch it, but of course found something better to occupy myself with, but before I could flip it over to read the description, Alice popped back into the room, looking to the DVD in my hand.

"Oh I love that one. You have good taste Bella," she grinned.

"Thanks…" I chose to pretend I had chosen it willingly although I hardly had a grasp of what it was about, handing it over to her. In a way it didn't really matter what it was about if it was a favorite of Alice's. Even if it was _Beauty and the Beast_, I'd be willing to suffer through it.

"Did you know that Mike Newton works at the pizza place? I practically had to remind him I was ordering dinner and not him," she sneered, placing the movie down on top of the DVD player before sitting back down on the bed. This time I didn't hesitate and took a seat beside her once more.

"Yeah it's pretty hard for a guy like him to take a hint. Up until sophomore year he wouldn't leave me alone. He loves going after new girls because they don't know much of a tool he is," I concluded.

"Well too bad for him. I like people who are down to earth, like you, you know?" she questioned with a bright smile. I felt my face light up slightly, happy that I was in her preference although she hadn't directly said that she wanted me.

"Yeah… down to earth people are… cool," I said with a blank mind, not exactly thinking about what I was saying until it came out and I mentally slapped myself for my momentary stupidity. Alice sniggered at my temporary absurdity.

"You're cute when you zone out like that."

My eyes went wide and I was force to look down when I felt the warmth rush to my cheeks, forcing them to turn a cherry red.

"And when you blush…" she added, noticing my embarrassment.

"Alright enough! I could point out some embarrassing qualities of yours," I threatened.

"Like what?" she countered.

Now that I thought about it, there weren't any. She was practically perfect and there wasn't any single flaw I could say about her. So I gave in.

"Fine there aren't any. You're like a gift from the gods to us mere mortals. Alice Brandon, the goddess," I grinned, looking her straight in the eye as I said so.

"A goddess? I haven't heard that one before. Are you trying to get into my pants with flattery?" she smirked.

"Wha-What?!" I was taken aback.

"Whoa Bella, I was only joking," she stuck her tongue out. "But was that your intention?" she faked a gasp.

"Of course not," I rolled my eyes.

"Not even a little bit?" she ventured. I bit my lip looking down, even if it was a joke, she really had a way with messing with you to the point where you couldn't tell if it was one anymore.

"So uh… when's the pizza arriving?" I chose to steer clear of the conversation, diving into another one.

Alice's eyes noticeably held a sign of disappointment at the sudden change in topics, but she didn't say a word. She looked at the clock on her phone, slightly rocking her head side to side as she subtracted the time. Even with Angela I had never felt such a drive, such intensity, such… want.

_ Maybe I would have to call Mom after all…._

**AN: I apologize for slow updates. Bella's original description of the Cullen house was used and rephrased and this is part one of the sleepover, mostly a filler, the next one will be a little more intense, I think… not too sure, I never plan what I write. I just do it because planning it too difficult. Is that a gift or a curse haha? The choice in movies was hard for me too. I considered **_**Chloe**_** because of the sex in it and how Bella might react, but everyone does that or people watch some movie with lesbian scenes. So I wanted to be different and possibly a bit more realistic by doing this? Tell me what you think in reviews and don't hesitate to give me some suggestions. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry everyone! My niece was born today and obviously I know where to put my priorities. However, this was written after everything calmed down in the hospital room while we all relaxed. Unfortunately, my timing is awful and it hard to get in the mind set when there's a baby crying and my sister-in-law feeding. But I tried so apologies if there isn't too much feeling in the words.**

**Update: 4/23/13. Big change. Instead of lemon, it's been turned into a fluff. Bella and I are not emotionally prepared for the sourness of the lemons! Or sweetness… okay so maybe it's just Bella. But seriously in all honesty, I was kind of cornered since I had moved too fast and made a jump I shouldn't have. Next chapter should be up soon once I finish it.**

* * *

"**Have ****you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection is too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid...****"**** (Unknown).**

* * *

**_[Later that night]_**

Not much later the doorbell rang, having Alice bounding down the stairs excitedly with me trailing behind her, in a partial daze at the inkling of the previous events. Was I deluding myself to thinking that Alice had a thing for me? And what if she did? There could be a possibility that she saw me as nothing more than interesting toy that she wanted to experiment with.

"I really hope they didn't send Mike to deliver the pizza. Then he'd have my address and that would… damn," Alice hissed. Her mother, Esme as she introduced herself, held the door open for her husband, Carlisle who grabbed the pizza boxes from the delivery boy who was none other than Mike. My back stiffened a little at the look he gave Alice once he saw her approaching, hardly giving me much notice. The guy had no shame for practically assaulting Alice with his stare.

"Alice dear, can you get the money off the counter and pay him?" Her mother asked politely. I watched from the corner of my eye as Alice forced her best smile before walking ahead of me to the counter and making her over to the door. I didn't exactly know what to do with myself until Alice waved me over; visibly showing she couldn't tolerate Mike on her own. I was a bit wary since I didn't exactly want anyone knowing I was staying over with Alice.

"The total is thirty-six dollars and eight cents," Mike informed her, attempting to crack his most charming smile at her that only made him look like he had some sort of disability.

Alice only nodded, handing him forty bucks without hesitation and waiting for him to leave. Instead he chose to linger.

"So Alice… next weekend there's a party at," he acknowledged my existence then as his eyes shifted over to me, unsure of whether or not he actually wanted me to hear."… Jessica Stanley's and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me. It'll be pretty fun, we could even-"

"Thanks for the offer, but I was supposed to go with Bella, right?" Alice looked over at me.

"We are..? I mean yeah…" I nodded vigorously when I caught Alice's eyes narrow at me.

"You're going with _her_?" Mike's voice had a hint of amusement as if he was waiting for Alice to say it was all a joke.

"Yup," she grinned, turning away, but not before she kicked the door closed with her foot and I locked the bolt.

"That wasn't very nice…" I began to say.

She whirled around to eye me in disbelief, attempting to decipher some meaning as she looked into my eyes.

"They treat you like _crap_, yet you always take it. You don't deserve that; I can see it so I choose to defend you. You shouldn't have empathy for people like them when they certainly don't have any for you," she whispered rather harshly, glancing over at her parents, Carlisle busied himself in the kitchen while Esme set out plates at the table.

"Anyways, don't let it ruin the night. Let's eat then head back upstairs."

"Alright, but… are we really going to that party?"

"Of course," Alice winked, taking my hand and leading me to the dining table.

* * *

I decided to follow Alice's advice and not let the encounter with Mike sour the mood. Instead once we finished our meal and washed our hands, we returned upstairs to her room.

"Hey is it alright if I get changed in your bathroom?" I asked, looking pointedly at the restroom within her bedroom.

"Why? It'll be nothing I haven't seen in the locker room," she grinned as my face grew flustered.

"You're not supposed to look you know? It's common courtesy," I shot back.

"Well then perhaps my courtesy is a bit uncommon," she concluded.

I shook my head, chuckling at how strange Alice was. And even more at how completely comfortable she was with being that way. It was admirable, definitely.

"Alright Bella, strip, give me a good show too," Alice snickered. When I looked at her questionably she only waved it off, spinning away from me as she tugged off her shirt. She peeked over her shoulder after a moment of hearing no movement, only to catch me looking anywhere but directly at her, dropping her shirt onto the floor she made her way over to me.

"Come on Bella, we're both girls, I know I flirt a lot and everything, but it's all in good nature. _Mostly_, at least," she teased. In reality, that wasn't even an issue. The _issue _was that a particular _friend_ down below wanted to join the party that they definitely weren't invited to.

"F…Fine," I stammered out, bending down to take a set of pajamas out of my overnight bag. Once I straightened upward, I looked at Alice expectantly and she rolled her eyes playfully at me as she retook her side of the room, facing opposite of me and continuing to change. For a moment I just started in awe. Obviously Alice was beautiful, she was petite, but had curves in all the right places. Often times you'd have to check whether you were drooling or not because you'd practically be dreaming when you looked at her.

"Bella, it's pretty hypocritical for you to get to stare at me when you just scolded me for doing the same exact thing," Alice teased, still facing away from me.

"I...I wasn't even s…staring," I sputtered out, whirling around and hastily pulling off my t-shirt.

"Then how come you're just taking off your shirt hmm?" she pointed out after a moment passed.

"Turn around Alice!" I demanded as the back of my neck began to redden at the thought of her eyes on me while I was completely shirtless. Maybe I should have turned around and… _Bad!_ The blood must be heading south…

"Fineee," Alice whined, unknowingly cutting into my inner battle. I could even hear the distinct sound of Alice giggling.

* * *

I sat on the bed as Alice walked over to the DVD player, placing in the disc and clicking the remote for it to slide in and register the movie. I began to make myself comfortable, scooting back against the headboard with my knees tucked to my chest and my arms wrapped loosely around them.

"We're not having any of that tonight," she gestured to my position. "When I watch movies, I have to cuddle, it's practically in my manual," she grinned once she caught sight of my raised eyebrow.

"You have a manual?"

"Of course, my parents keep it in case they want to return me," she added with a wink.

"Like anyone would do that..." I muttered beneath my breath, but she heard. And she smiled kindly at me before plopping down beside me on the bed. She gestured for me to put down my legs and I complied reluctantly, letting my hands fall to my sides.

She placed her hands on my knees as she separated them more, causing a surge to shoot through me and I took a sharp intake in breath. To make matters worse she took a seat in the now unoccupied space between my thighs.

"Uh… Alice," I said through the fog of arousal that was beginning to take over my brain. A part of me enjoyed the sensation of having Alice pressed against me and another part wanted to run as far from her as possible.

"Yeah?"she gazed over her shoulder at me, allowing our faces to be only inches from each other. My heart rate quickened at the proximity between us and I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing my sight to the screen.

"Never mind," I practically said inaudibly.

"Whatever you say weirdo," she giggled, facing forward once again, scooting further back against me and pressing play on the remote before grabbing my arms to wrap around her torso. Once she was certain I wouldn't let go she relaxed further against me.

_**We're just friends, Bella. Stop over thinking it, this is what regular friends do.**_

_ Are you sure?_

_** Well if you ever had a real friend you'd know how you're supposed to interact. **_

_ Oh shut up. _

As the movie began I tried to focus on the dialogue between the main character and her family, unfortunately this tactic was short lived each time Alice would readjust herself on my lap, causing her rear to graze against my groin on multiple occasions. At one point I even had to bite down hard on my bottom lip. It was all becoming overwhelming; the closeness, her scent, everything about her…. and it didn't help that I had slowly grown harder. There was no way she didn't notice as a minute passed and I was fully erect, poking firmly against her back. I had to get away from it all, away from her.

"Alice, I need to get to use the-"

"Bella I know," she simply stated, wiggling her back against my erection. It didn't help at all that my sweats were of thin material. I froze like a deer in headlights when she said this however; I was terrified to what she might say next. Perhaps it would have been better if she was downright disgusted instead of what she did instead:

Alice wiggled free of my grasp, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie before scooting further away from me to turn around and sit cross-legged, directly in front of my still figure. I immediately grabbed the pillow beside me, placing it over my lap self consciously.

"Bella…" she started to say but I shook my head, looking down at the pillow, to make her stop. It was already humiliating enough that I got a boner from her sitting on my lap; I didn't need for us to _talk_ about it. I was pretty content with sweeping it under the rug and pretending this never happened.

"Bella can I be honest with you?" she pleaded, leaning closer when I refused to meet eye contact with her. I gave her a curt nod to signal I was giving her permission and listened as she exhaled, no doubt pondering her next words carefully.

"I… did it on purpose," she admitted

That gathered my attention and I jerked my head up to look at her, blinking at the momentary stun before focusing my eyes on her, searching for some hint of a joke.

"Why would you do that?" I asked. Not accusingly, or with any hint of hostility, just genuine curiosity as to what possessed her to do that.

"Honestly? I just wanted to see what would happen. I mean we've known each other for a month, but you've never really wanted to talk about your..." she cut herself off with the look I gave her. "… _package_."

"Because why would I?! It's not like I want to broadcast to the world about my '_package_'," I quoted her.

"I know, I know. It's just… I'm curious okay? You know how I am. I like discovering new things and I'm not saying you're some sort of science experiment, but you're my friend so of course I'm going to be a bit inquisitive as to how it all works," she justified. In some way she did have a point, but obviously her tactic was a bit too extreme.

"You could have just asked me," I pointed out.

"But you never answer me! You always just direct the conversation somewhere else. I'm not a patient girl, I even read the last page of a book before I even start it so I at least know why I'm reading," she shot back.

"Because I'm allowed such privacy! And you definitely can't invade it by doing that sort of thing to someone, especially when I-"

I sighed, visibly frustrated as I ran a hand hastily through my hair. She had no clue what she was doing to me and I guess it wasn't fair to lash out on her when a majority of my frustration was sexual. I had a freaking hard-on for crying out loud and relieving myself was definitely out of the question, especially in _Alice's_ home.

"You're what?" she prodded. It would have been nice to just have a regular evening, with a regular friend. But she was Alice and I was well, me.

"Nothing, just forget it alright? I think I'm going to call my mom and get her to take me home. Obviously I've ruined this for the both of us," I waved around the room.

She took both of my hands between hers, shaking her head apologetically.

"If anything I ruined it, but please don't leave. I won't bother you about it anymore; we can watch a new movie and just lay down. No cuddling and all, how does that sound?" The desperation in her voice immediately made me feel awful and we could resume the originally enjoyable night, but I couldn't dismiss what I was concealing beneath the pillow as my eyes dropped down. Alice's chose to follow as well and she looked back up at me, seeing the conflict in my eyes.

"You can go uh… take care of it if you want."

I coughed, completely shocked at the same time I felt an involuntary twitch from down below.

_She really didn't just offer that, did she?_

"I don't really do that… kind of stuff. Just cold showers, or even just ignoring it usually works," I admitted, my cheeks becoming a flush red.

"That can't be healthy Bella. It's normal to…"

"I got it! I've had the talk. That doesn't make it any less awkward and you realize you're actually promoting me to masturbate right? That's a bit strange, even for you," I replied.

"I guess if you look at it that way, we all do it. I was just saying that since it obviously doesn't look comfortable," she gave the pillow a pointed glance and I adjusted it to conceal myself better. _Wait…_ _did she just admit to doing it too_? _She was not helping a single bit. _

"And if you need assistance…" she smirked teasingly and I rolled my eyes, instinctively throwing the pillow at her. I realized my mistake almost immediately, dropping my hands down to attempt to hide the bulge.

"Bella honestly, I don't even care," she attempt to reassure me.

"Maybe you don't, but _I_ do," I shot back.

"Fair enough and I'm going to probably ask something that might offend you, but just realize my curiosity tends to overcome my judgment and if you didn't make it so intrigu-"

"Stop babbling and just shoot Alice."

"Can I see it?"

"Dude no!" I exclaimed, scooting further back from her. She seem unfazed and a grin spread across her face, the kind you see on the face of an attacker right before the pull you in an alley.

"Why not? It's just us, no one else will see," she promised.

"That's not the point Alice… you're here. That's enough of a reason."

When Alice admitted defeat, I sighed heading to the bathroom adjoined to the room. I took a seat on the edge of the tub, glaring down at my crotch as if it were a disease, mostly because in my mind, it_ was_ a disease. There was no way I'd let anyone see that. And it took me nearly ten minutes to calm myself down, fighting off the urge to ask for Alice's assistance for a majority of it, which was a large factor of me staying in the restroom for so long.

* * *

When I had managed to get myself back under control, I reentered the room, my head hanging low in embarrassment while my cheeks took on a shade of crimson red. I was ashamed at myself for reacting that way toward a friend's actions, or whatever the hell we were exactly. With the way Alice was acting, I had no idea whether to be turned on or worried.

"Hey," Alice greeted shyly, patting the seat beside her on the edge bed. After a moment of hesitation I finally sat down, avoiding eye contact during it all.

"Bella, listen I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Mom always said my curiosity overran my sense of boundaries."

_What sense of boundaries_, I thought silently. But I guess I should have been appreciative over the fact that she hadn't freaked out the way most people generally would, though she was _Alice_ and that always seemed to explain occurrences such as these.

"It's not your fault Alice, I'm sorry if I made you think that. You even did mention you were a 'cuddler' but I can't really handle that sort of stuff. I thought I'd have enough control, but obviously not…"

"Well it didn't help with what I was doing," she pointed out. Just the very memory of her on my lap made Mr. Friendly twitch.

In an attempt to break the tension that had suddenly taken over us as we both recalled the incident that occurred previously, I slid onto the floor toward her television, searching through the stack of movies in the cabinet below.

"No you don't." Alice came to sit beside me, gently slapping my fingers away. "It's my turn to choose so go sit on the bed like a good little Bella," she snickered, causing me to roll my eyes before getting up and crawling beneath the covers of her, oh so warm bed.

A few moments later Alice slid in the movie, sauntering across the room afterward and I couldn't help, but ogle at the sight of her hips swaying from side to side until my vision was impaired when the lights were shut off. Only the television helped me to see the roulette of her figure, her pale skin reflecting well as the light shinning from the screen flickered off of her. She really was a beautiful sight to see.

"Like what you see?" I could see her teeth flash as she smirked at me cockily and I rolled my eyes.

"You wish princess," I countered although I definitely did.

She came to stand beside the bed; sliding in beneath the covers and wrapping an arm around my middle before letting her attention turn to the television. Instead of fleeing, I closed my eyes, moving closer to her and letting myself enjoy the embrace, not even focusing on the movie playing in the background. Finally I let myself drift into a comfortable sleep. Even if it was false hope that Alice actually returned my feelings, this would suffice.

* * *

**AN: Shall I quote the girl from awkward and say "you're welcome" sarcastically to anyone who hates this?**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Almost a whole month… I feel like such an ass and also have much to say. First off, READ THE LAST CHAPTER or at least the last part since I changed it from a lemon to fluff. Secondly, I'm really sorry everyone, I've honestly been avoiding this story. I've been struggling with my depression lately (more than usual) so thank you to everyone that still has faith in me and this story even though I don't deserve it. On another note I edited the story line a bit. So things you should know:**

** -Bella has lived in Forks since she was ten years old instead of since she was 15.**

** -Lauren knew of Bella's penis (cue awkward chuckling) since they were both twelve years old. **

** -The whole incident where everyone found out happened a month (instead of a week) before Alice came to Forks High. And lastly, have a lemon.**

* * *

**LEMON WARNING… as in sex, like right away. So prepare so for that shit… **

* * *

**"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyal through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfecting and makes allowances for human weaknesses" (Ann Landers).**

* * *

**_[The following morning]_**

_I gazed down at Alice with lustful eyes, taking in the sight of her naked body below me glistening with a light layer of sweat as she panted heavily with the arousal that had __become too much for either of us to handle with our pleasure filled thoughts. _

_ "You make me so hard," I moaned, rubbing the tip of my cock against her clit, causing a throaty moan to erupt from her as well. It was like music to my ears and I wanted to hear more of it, pressing against her soaked lips and into her equally wet cavern. I shivered, almost coming immediately at the feeling as I began a rhythmic speed of thrusting into Alice. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me in closer for a kiss, allowing me to swallow her moans that exploded from within. _

_ I quickened my thrust, putting more force into each one, but also taking Alice's comfort into consideration as I did so. This feeling was so overwhelming and soon I felt a familiar stirring in the pit of my stomach. Wanting Alice to feel the same pleasure I would soon be feeling, I removed my lips from hers, gripping onto her hips and lifting them to meet mine as I slid in deeper. No longer could I hold back as my body tensed and I released everything I had to offer inside of her, glancing down to see her flushed face as she began to call my name. _

_ "Bella…Bella…Bella!"_

I woke with a jolt, blinking at least a dozen times as my eyes took in the light filtering into the room, taking in my surroundings. This definitely wasn't my room… oh right it was Alice's. I glanced down to see a bewildered pixie in my arms, partially below me with my arms wrapped around her waist. Why am I holding her like this? And why was I wet… "Oh god!" I immediately shot up and scooted as far away from her as I could, unfortunately that meant I ended up falling hard on my ass on the bedroom floor. _Oh god, please don't tell me I dry humped the poor girl in my sleep like a fucking dog…_

"I-I'm so sorry… I-I didn't know what I was doing." I could hardly look at her, my hands attempting to cover the wet spot that was quite evident on my sweat pants. In my peripheral vision I could see Alice shift, moving closer and dangling her legs of the side of the bed so she could peer down at me.

"Bella," she spoke gently, but with more authority when I refused to respond. "Bella look at me," she demanded and I carefully let my eyes meet two pools of chocolate.

"I'm so sorry Ali-"

I was cut off with a stern look, warning me to even dare to apologize again. I took that as a sign of anger over frustration and immediately cringed for the oncoming shouting, but it never came.

"Bella I'm not mad. Startled? Yeah definitely, I've never exactly been woken up to like that, probably the most efficient way to though," she attempted to joke, but by the sight of my somber tone she ceased any further attempt. "You can take a shower in here, I'll use the one down the hall and then we can talk about it later alright?" I mustered a nod although I could guarantee there'd be no talking when I could hardly reel in my mind to perform simple actions such as standing once she had exited the room, but I managed, stumbling into the bathroom.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

_**Yeah what is wrong with you?! Yesterday we had managed to ignore the 'incident' but this definitely can't be swept under the rug. And what the hell does she want to talk about?**_

_I should have just stayed home…_

_**But you didn't. Now go take your damn shower. **_

_ Yes ma'am. _

* * *

When I stepped out of the shower I felt mildly refreshed and delighted by the sight of the fogged up mirror. It was one thing I could never do as I grew as a child was look in the mirror. I guess you could say I was afraid to see myself since it would confirm who that I indeed, was abnormal. And of course there were always people to tell not to think so poorly of myself, but they didn't understand what it was like to be in my shoes and I definitely wouldn't have a better self-image with the harassment I received at school.

And with the issue arising -no pun intended- every time I seemed to get close to Alice it was all becoming harder to ignore –again no pun intended- and generally the average girl could hide her… arousal easily, but in my case it stood out loud and proud.

_**Bella enough with the jokes. **_

_Hush, if you were this nervous, you'd be making jokes too._

_**I am nervous, I'm you remember**__. _

_ Right… _

Was it normal to talk to myself this often? I guess I had heard that it was impossible to be happy while also being completely sane, but I wasn't happy and somehow being depressed and insane didn't sound like a comfortable mixture.

_**If you were actually insane, this probably wouldn't be your voice talking to you right now. **_

_It might not be, I'm not nearly this logical. _

_**Just get fucking dressed already. **_

_Or this bossy... _

* * *

We decided to take a seat across from each other, cross-legged on the floor since Alice had to place her sheets in the washer downstairs, sending me another sickening reminder of one of my most degrading moments, but Alice had quickly attempted to assure me that all was well.

As I stared ahead, I took in Alice's appearance; she was wearing a black/white, polka-dotted oxford boyfriend shirt, tucked into a semi-long, black silk skirt with black flats to finish it off. Her sense of fashion was at extreme contrast to mine since I was sporting a simple black t-shirt with _The Walking Dead_ written across the front in white letters –closet comic book collector mind you- and a pair of khakis that hugged me quite well, but not nearly enough to make me uncomfortable along with a pair of black/white vans and my hair slung across my left shoulder. My motto wasn't dress to impress; it was more along the lines of dress to be well, dressed, which technically wasn't a motto and something we all simply had to do when in the company of others, but hey.

"You should really let me take you shopping." She eyed my outfit distastefully, crinkling her nose as if she smelled something awful. They were just clothes for Christ's sake.

"I like my clothes," I said smugly, a smile creepy onto my face when she narrowed her eyes.

"Bella, clothes are about expressing yourself, are you really content with wearing such plain clothes?"

"Perhaps I am expressing myself. My outfit screams 'Hi I'm Bella, an extremely plain person who's obsessed with _The Walking Dead_ want to be my friend?'"

"You're ridiculous," she giggled, rolling her eyes and I stuck my tongue out at her playfully. I was actually beginning to become rather comfortable with this distraction until Alice decided to open Pandora's Box.

"Bella, I think we're getting off topic, we still haven't really talked about this morning…"

_Check please. _

"Can't we just forget it?" I pleaded, choosing to avoid eye contact with her any further.

"No, you weren't the only one involved. Did you take into consideration about how I might feel about all of this?" She shot back, her voice with a hint of frustration along with something else I couldn't quite decipher. I chanced a glance in her direction to see her eyes boring into mine, attempting to convey feelings I had no chance of understanding.

"You're right, I forgot, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I-I've never done that before, I honestly don't know why that happened," I admitted. Although I did have a theory, insanely hot girl plus insanely raging morning wood equals humping of one's leg. Correct me if I'm wrong.

"It wasn't that I was uncomfortable, I just thought you were awake at first since you were talking, but then I saw that your eyes were closed and it kind of threw me off a bit. At first I thought you'd just get off," she smirks slightly at the unintentional pun and I avert my eyes in embarrassment, "but you didn't seem like you'd be stopping anytime soon so I tried calling your name."

I placed my face in my hands shamefully.

"What did I say?" I mumbled, peeking up at her through my fingers.

"I think I'd just embarrass you even more if I even said half of the things you said aloud," she pointed out. _Fuck my life._

"Are you sure you aren't mad?" _Or disgusted, _I added mentally.

"No Bella, I can _guarantee_ I'm not mad and I also guarantee that you seem more affected by this than me and I was the one who got her leg humped," she teased.

"Not helping Alice," I muttered.

"Right, right, but actually I wanted to talk to-"

She was cut short by the sound of my phone blaring _I Got It from My Mama_ by Will. at full volume and my face immediately turned a darker shade of red if that was even possible.

"That's my mom calling-"

"That's your mom?!" Alice exclaimed, falling into a full fit of laughter.

"She set the ringtone not me!" I defended, standing and heading over to my cell phone, searching and pulling it out of my bag before answering.

Meanwhile Alice had reached that level in merriment, in which you weren't exactly making any sort of noise, but still shaking as the laughter rippled through your body. It was a funny sight and I had trouble not collapsing alongside the pixie on the carpet with the laughter that threatened to topple over as well.

"_Hey honey, hope it's not too early, your father was heading down to La Push in a few hours and was wondering if you'd like to go with him since you haven't really seen Jake or the gang for a while." _

I glanced back at Alice, slightly torn over choosing, but then again, I could always see Alice Monday right? I _needed_ to see Jake; he was the only one truly understanding of my situation, seeing me as a person, no labels included.

"Yeah mom, I'll go. Just call me when you're headed over I guess," I told her before she agreed saying goodbye. When I clicked the end button I looked back up to see Alice had calmed down and was perched up on her knees, looking at me with lost eyes.

"You're leaving?" she asked, her forlorn expression nearly breaking my heart.

"Yeah… my dad's heading to La Push so my mom will probably be here in an hour. Sorry… she just told me about it now."

"Alright, well I guess there's always Monday right?" Her dismayed tone never ceasing to let up when she attempted to feign enthusiasm. The girl really knew how to make you feel guilty for wanting to see your _only_ other friend. _Stay strong Bella… _

"Yeah, and if it helps…" _**Don't do it, you're selling your soul to the devil! **_"…I'll go with you on your next shopping trip." _**You son of a bitch!**_

"Really?" she squealed excitedly, dismissing the depressing aura immediately before shooting up and running over to tackle me to the floor in a bone crushing hug. "You've said it now so you can't back out, alright?" I couldn't even respond with how tight she was holding me, finally letting up, she sat up, allowing me to breath once again and immediately I inhaled the sweet, sweet breath of life.

"Yeah, I won't back out," I grumbled, immediately regretting my decision as Alice began to list off all the stores we'd be visiting and the clothes she'd make me try on. After a while however, I came to the realization that she was straddling my waist, four layers of clothing separating us from…

"Earth to Bella!" Alice shouted, waving a hand in front of my face to gather my attention. I peeked upward towards her face, unconsciously licking my lips as I stared at her own before meeting her gaze. I swore I felt her squirm inconspicuously, causing Mr. Friendly to wake up.

"I-I was just saying that I think I smell Esme m-making breakfast, so let's uh… head down," she told me, quickly hopping off my lap and rushing out of the room once she saw me stand. Mark this as the day that Alice Brandon, queen of confidence and conspicuous beauty, stuttered. This truly was a day to remember and I couldn't help but feel a little smug at thinking that I might have been the cause.

* * *

**AN: Annnd there you go! This took forever, but with a nap all things are made possible. Again, I'm extremely sorry for the late update and I'm proud to say I had to look up clothes to describe Alice's outfit, I have no idea what girls wear even though I am a girl myself, a hoodie and jeans will be enough to suffice for me. Plus I have a school uniform so… yeah. And get your mind out of the gutter if you're thinking nasty thoughts about my uniform. And also, I would have uploaded this sooner, but something about servers and be unable to connect.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Curse my slow as hell updates right? A lot has happened, got a non-consensual lap dance, I serenaded a teacher along with the whole freshman class, and also read some good as hell fan fiction. Now before you get mad, just know that the website wouldn't list the options after you click publish so I ended up having to upload this with my other lap top. Also, I'm changing it from Hurt/Comfort to Humor since although there is a lot of angst, I try to take a more **_**humorous**_** approach, it's just who I am, still I will take the topics seriously that require it. Hope you enjoy~**

* * *

**Mostly a filler for later chapters. Tried to make it as entertaining as possible.**

* * *

"**To reminisce with my old friends, a chance to share some memories, and play our songs again"****(****Ricky Nelson****).**

* * *

**_[Later that day]_**

"Why wouldn't mom come exactly?" I asked, letting my head rest against the window of my dad's cruiser as I peered over to look at him.

"She said something about seeing a friend of hers," he shrugged turning onto La Push Rd. Instead of pressing further I just nodded absentmindedly, lifting my head to look out the window as we approached Jacob's home.

"Billy said that Jake's been asking about you lately. If you hadn't come with me this time I'm sure he would have come down there searching for you," Dad muttered, shaking his head while also sporting the slightest smile.

"I wouldn't put it past him," I smirked, reaching for the handle of my door as we parked in the driveway of the Black house. I stepped out, placing my hands at the small of my back as I stretched, leaving myself vulnerable to be enveloped in a bone-shattering hug that left me no room to breathe.

"Jake… can't… breathe," I gasped, trying to struggled free from his grip. After giving me one last squeeze, he pulled away, revealing that goofy grin that I had come to love over the years.

"Sorry Bella, I just missed you. You haven't visited me in months!" He exclaimed, giving me an accusing glance. I took the opportunity to take in his appearance. He was sporting a worn out pair of jeans with holes at the knees and a grey t-shirt that showed off his muscular tone.

"I was pretty busy," I smirked. "And it seems you were too. You should really cut back on the steroids Jake."

"My apologies that not everyone is all skin and bones like you," he rolled his eyes, suddenly wrapping an arm around my shoulder and staring off into some unknown distance. "For twenty-five cents a day, Bella can ea-"

"You're such an ass," I shoved him away playfully.

"Hey Bella! Watch the language!" Charlie warned from the place he was sitting on the Black's porch, Billy sitting beside him in his wheel chair. I quickly mumbled sorry, looking down shamefully until Jacob called me name to get my attention.

"I got to show you something," Jake beamed, tugging my hand around the side of the house and toward the garage.

"Jake if there's a dead body in there… I don't think we can be friends anymore," I teased, speeding up ahead of him.

"Guess you'll just have to be my next victim then hm?" He taunted from behind, running up to catch up to me, but never ceasing his pace as he sped by and smacked the back of my head while doing so.

"You'll pay for that Black!" I shouted, barreling after him.

"You wish Swan!" He threw over his shoulder.

* * *

The surprise ended up being a couple of motorcycles he had gotten from a neighbor's who was planning to toss them out and ended up getting them for free. I had to admit, it was a pretty sweet deal and the condition they were in wasn't too bad and knowing Jake, he'd work excessively until they were up and running in no time.

"Can you hand me the tool box over there?" Jake asked, without looking up from his spot on the floor.

"Sure," I stood up, heading over to the shelves, pulling the red-toolbox off the shelf and handing it to him before opening the door of Jake's black 2000 mustang and taking a seat inside, letting my legs hang out from the side. I watched in amusement as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked.

"How long do you think it will take to get them working?" I asked.

"The Harley I might be able to finish by the end of this month, but the Honda might take a while longer since it's older, but it will definitely be worth it…" he looked to the said vehicle in awe.

"Need some privacy Jake?" I taunted.

"I might," he looked up to wink at me.

* * *

"Hey Bella?" I looked up from the seat belt I had been fiddling with immediately once I registered the hesitant tone in Jacob's voice.

"What's up Jake?" He seemed to be debating over saying whatever was on his mind, finally deciding to stand and gesture for me to follow him outside of the garage so we could head for a walk.

"What's going on?" I asked once we entered the clearing behind his house.

"I heard about the whole incident two months ago," he blurted, taking me completely off guard. I guess I didn't really know what to expect, but I _definitely_ was not expecting that. After a moment of silence and I still hadn't responded, he continued. "Why didn't you tell me Bella? That's not something you should keep from your best friend."

"Well, that's not exactly something one would bring up in a conversation," I pointed out.

"But we could've tal-"

"Jake, I was humiliated in front of a large majority of my junior class and by the next day the rumors were spreading like wildfire, the last thing I wanted to do was talk. Maybe jump off a bridge, but not talk," I sad.

"You wouldn't really do that right?" He wondered, his voice full of concern.

"Of course not, you're stuck with me for life, as you know I tend to exaggerate, but that's kind of how felt like when everyone knew my secret. With you, I was able to trust you enough before I told you about my condition, but with them? I didn't even get a chance to blink before it all happened."

"What happened?" He inquired. I let out a deep sigh, gesturing toward the picnic table a few feet off and we both took a seat beside each other on top of the table.

"Before all of it happened, I kind of had a crush on a senior for a few weeks, nothing big, but yeah I liked her. And you remember that girl Lauren I talk about?" He nodded. "Yeah well… she knew my secret too, but it was by accident of course. Anyway, sixth period had finished one day and we were all walking out. The whole day Lauren was giving me weird looks, whispering to her friends and I was getting paranoid, but with good reason I guess."

"Well, later when everyone was coming out of the locker room, I ended up being the last person out since I was having some issues with my lock -someone rubbed vaseline all over it- and when I stepped out everyone was just standing there. I had no idea why until I felt someone yank down my jeans from behind, I looked back to see Lauren just smiling like the fucking Cheshire Cat and then I turned back and I remember that silence; you could have easily heard a pen drop from outside… and then those looks of disgust. I pulled my jeans back up and just left. I didn't even go home until eight o'clock at night and Charlie looked like he was about to have a panic attack, thinking I had gone missing or something. Luckily the principle had called them earlier and my mom knew I just needed some time to myself."

"How did they react to it all?" Jake implored.

"My mom was really sympathetic about it all and Charl- I mean my dad was furious and kept asking for names and who had done it, but I wouldn't tell him. Eventually he let up and I went to my room and just slept through the rest of the week and the weekend, only getting up for necessities like showers or eating, but I spent it mostly in bed. Not speaking to anyone or doing anything."

"Bella…" Jacob seemed to be groping for words to comfort me, but seemed to find nothing. Eventually I nodded in acknowledgement. There really wasn't much to say and I wasn't one for many words and the fact that he was able to sympathize with my situation was enough.

"And you've been going through all of this alone?" He wondered and I felt the corner of my lips tug into a smile.

"No?" I turned to Jake with a full smile then.

"You remember that girl I used to have a crush on? Well I met her step-cousin while I was waiting in the office…" Jacob raised an eyebrow. "I may or may not have slapped a particular student, who definitely deserved it," I shrugged shyly, earning a pat on the shoulder.

"Damn, what have you done with the real Bella Swan?!" He grinned slyly, sliding closer and bumping my shoulder with his. "And I'd love to hear more about this girl's cousin." I chuckled, shaking my head at my best friend's antics before telling him everything. How we first met, all of the situations I had gotten into, and how much I was falling for the girl. When I had finally finished Jake was laughing hysterically.

"And I thought I was bad with girls," he roared, almost tipping off the side of the table and I decided to provide gravity with a bit of assistance, giving him a nudge and watched him fall face first.

"Comfy?" I asked smugly.

"Very," Jake mumbled, pulling his face out of the grass before sitting up and rubbing his forehead.

"That'll teach you for laughing at my misfortune Black," I replied and instantly he was doubled over laughing again, recalling all the things I had told him. "Jake quit it! You're the one that's a year older; you're supposed to be giving me advice not laughing at me!"

Eventually the idiot sobered enough to be able to formulate a sentence. "You're right, sorry, but it's kind of hilarious how bad you have it for the girl. And by the sounds of it she likes you too," he beamed, standing and sliding back on the table.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and Jake's hand gripped my shoulder, causing me to look back at him.

"I'm serious Bella, you know she does. I mean, it's _fucking obvious_ and I haven't even met the girl. No one else would react that way to any of that if they didn't like you and don't you dare pull the 'good friend' card or I will result to tearing my hair out in frustration."

"Fine Jake, maybe I know she does and I'm content with staying friends even if I _might_ want to be more than that. A relationship with me wouldn't work out too well; she'd just realize how much of a freak I really am."

"Bella know that I love you to death, but I've had enough with the self-loathing. You have a girl who likes you, knowing your secret and seeing no issue with it and she probably hasn't made a move because she's waiting for you to. And you like her back, right? What's so complicated about that? Don't you think you owe her and yourself to try and give it a shot? I'm not saying you have to marry the girl or anything, just think about it alright?" he questioned. To be honest I was still stuck on the part about self-loathing, had I really turned into that overly-depressed protagonist you usually see on one of those 'ABC Family' specials?

"Alright… I need time though," I confessed.

"Take all the time you need, but not too long or else someone might swoop in and steal her from you," he reminded me. "Oh and Bella, may I know the name of this divine goddess of yours?"

"Alice," I smiled gently.

"Man you have it bad," he shook his head.

_Without a doubt. _

"So uh Jake are you going to the party in Forks?" I questioned, ready to change the subject. My mind wasn't exactly the only thing I had difficulty controlling as far as Alice was concerned.

"Of course, when have you known me to ever miss a party? The question should be: why are _you _going?"

"A little pixie may have been involved," I winked.

* * *

"Hey Billy, have you seen my dad?" I asked, walking into the living room with Jake, who collapsed heavily onto the couch, propping his feet up on the table. Billy sent his son a pestered look before turning back to face me.

"He mentioned something about heading over to the Clearwater's, you'll probably find him there," he informed me.

"Alright thanks, see you next Friday Jake?" I looked to Jake questionably and he nodded, giving me a lazy thumbs up. This is why I loved the guy. He was even lazier than I was. "See you guys later," I cackled, heading out of the Black house and shutting the door behind me.

The walk to the Clearwater's wasn't too long, but enough to give me time to think. Was it really worth the risk to ruin what Alice and I had already for something more?

_**Of course it is. **_

_So what's holding us back?_

_**Perhaps the fact that you're a spineless cowa-**_

_Thank you brain. _

"Bella?"

_ Was that voice in my head? Am I actually going crazy?!_

_**Looks like it. **_

"Bella!"

_Okay that's definitely not in my head. _

"Yeah?" I looked up from the sidewalk, almost managing to knock over the person who had been calling my name.

"One would think you'd learn to stop being so clumsy at some point," they drawled, gripping my shoulders to help keep me balanced. I focused my eyesight to see Leah Clearwater looking at me, visibly amused with my lack of coordination that seemed to have worsen the older I got.

"Leah!" I exclaimed, enveloping her in a bear hear, allowing her to wrap her arms around my mid-back and pull me in with as much enthusiasm. I hadn't seen Leah for the last five months, other than passing by hello's and other small gestures during the summer while I spent time with Jake. She had been so absorbed by Sam Uley, an arrogant prick well known for using women and also known for hanging around Paul Lahote who had an even worse reputation.

"So how's Sam?" I asked once we separated, trying to keep the distaste out of my voice. Instantly Leah's smile vanished, replaced with a grimace.

"We broke up last month… my cousin Emily came to visit and I had noticed the way he looked at her, but I ignored it. I thought I had managed to get him to change, but I guess not. Now the two of them are dating and I always make myself scarce when she comes to visit now. That's actually why I'm here out here now," she admitted dejectedly.

"_How dare he?_" I hissed. Now I knew I'd have no chance against a guy like Sam, but that wouldn't keep me from attempting to claw his eyes out.

"Relax Bella, I admit I could be happier, but it's mostly over the fact that my cousin could just betray me like that… you know we were pretty close. All I know now is that you and I definitely need to talk. Some rumors have been buzzing around here and you have some explaining to do," she scolded me, pointing a finger at me accusingly.

_Shit._

* * *

"I'm knocking some heads in when I go to that party. A drunk and aggressive Leah is a force to be reckoned with," Leah growled. "No one messes with my Bella-Bear and gets away with it, except yours truly of course," she made a flourish with her hand.

"Yeah yeah." By now I was trying my best to ignore the olive-skinned girl. "Is my dad here?" I gestured to her front door, on cue the door opened, giving me a view of my father with the widest smile on his face as he looked down at Sue. It had been a while since I had seen him look relatively happy and the same was said for Sue. She hadn't smiled like that since before her husband had passed away.

"They've been hanging out a lot lately when Charlie comes to La Push, if he hadn't been a close friend of my dad's I might've been concerned," Leah explained. I was still eyeing the couple, who had yet to see us.

"Maybe we should still be concerned," I said below my breath. Before Leah could ask me to repeat it louder my father spotted us, quickly saying goodbye to Sue and heading over to the two of us.

"Hello Leah." She replied with the same greeting and my dad turned his attention to me. "Ready to go?" I glanced over to Leah's mother, still a bit wary, but managed to push the thoughts away long enough to answer my father.

"Yeah let's go."

* * *

**An: So there you go. The next chapter will include the party obviously. Tell me your thoughts in the reviews! **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Soooo I was wrong. The party will be next chapter because I'm sure a lot will happen in that one. I'm trying to update faster, but the world is against me. So yup, you're not the only one frustrated with me.**

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**"I guess sometimes in life we have to deal with the hand we have been dealt. No way around it, in the end we all have a story to tell" (Unknown). **

* * *

_**[Monday]**_

I curse the bastard who decided that seven-thirty a.m. was a reasonable time to start school. He was horribly mistaken.

"Bella! You're still in bed?! Get up!" My bedroom door had been slammed open and I instinctively cringed as my mother stood in the doorway, hands on her hips. I made an odd mumbling noise in response, tugging the blanket over my head.

"Isabella Marie Swan, if you aren't out of bed in the next minute, I'm driving you to school," she threatened. That got me up. The second worst thing to walking would be getting driven to school by your mother. And although I wasn't very high on the social scale, it never hurt to not want to somehow sink lower.

"Must you be so cruel?" I groaned, tossing the blankets off of my body hastily, accomplishing to find enough energy to get out of bed before heading into the bathroom.

"It's a mother's job!" Mom called through the closed door before I heard her feet padding down the stairs. That it was.

This morning I decided to multi-task since I was ten minutes behind schedule, taking care of everything involving hygiene in less than fifteen minutes before heading back into my bedroom to find an outfit to wear. I settled on a pair of grey, well-fitted jeans and a long sleeved, black linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up, finishing it all off with a pair of worn down converse.

I slung my backpack on one shoulder and headed downstairs, the smell of waffles swimming up my nostrils and I inhaled the smell pleasurably.

"Dad headed to the station already?" I asked, snatching a waffle off the plate and beginning to munch on it, looking up to see my mom leaning against the counter in her work attire.

"How can you eat them so plainly... and yeah, it seems lately that's where he spends all of his time lately," she sighed. I wondered if I should have told her that he had been spending a lot of his time at the Clearwater's, but decided against it. There was no need in alarming my mother when I didn't even know for sure what was going on exactly.

"I'm sure he wants to spend more time with you," I said although I wasn't entirely sure if that was true.

"I guess, but don't worry about it too much, okay? Your father has always been a quiet man, I shouldn't be surprised," she flashed me a smile. It was the smile she always gave me when she was unsure of something, leaving me no particular comfort whatsoever.

"Well uh- I better get headed to school, thanks for the breakfast mom," I thanked her, taking a bottle of orange juice of the fridge and another waffle off of the plate.

"Have a good day honey, I love you." I smiled because out of all the other emotions conveyed through her words previously, the love was genuine. Then I headed toward the front door.

* * *

"You should really let me give you a ride in the morning," Alice told me for practically the hundredth time since I've met her. I watched as she slid off the hood of her yellow her Porsche, taking in my outfit the first time. "Do my eyes deceive me or does Bella Swan actually have a sense of fashion?"

"But morning walks are all I look forward to in life," I stated sarcastically. "And I _do_ have a sense of fashion; I just prefer jeans and t-shirts. Maybe if I was daddy's little princess like someone, I might feel the need to fill my closet with useless-"

"If you finish that sentence, I swear Bella…" she trailed off, playfully glaring at me.

"Bring it Shorty," I taunted, putting my fist up in mock-fight.

"You have a death wish if you make fun of my height," she threatened, her eyes turning into narrow slits. I let my hands drop to my sides though I was nowhere near teasing the already pestered pixie.

"Sorry Tinkerbelle, sometimes I forget you have a _short_ temper." It was pretty lame I admit, but it struck a nerve nonetheless. I howled in pain when I felt Alice's fist connect to my shoulder rather hard.

"I warned you." She put up her hands defensively.

"You didn't say you'd hit me!" I rubbed my shoulder irritably. The pixie could pack a punch.

"Aw want me to kiss it better?" she cooed.

"Well if you insist," I patted my shoulder, batting my eyelashes in a coy manner.

"Well too bad," she slapped my tender shoulder, starting off toward the school building and I quickly caught up to her.

"I thought friends were supposed to take care of each other," I pouted.

"Well obviously that doesn't apply to us because we're…" She suddenly stopped walking and I turned to look at her in time to see her lean in, my eyes widening in anticipation as her face was only inches from mine. "…best friends." A smirk crept onto her face as I began blushing like a madman. When she pulled away, I just stood there frozen, watching as she strode toward the entrance.

"Wh-what was… why did you… you… d-don't tease me like that," I whined, my face flaming by then.

_"I make them want me, I like to tease them. They want to touch me, I never let them…"_ Alice sang softly ahead of me, continuing to walk as if nothing happened. I followed after her like the love-struck idiot I was, catching up to her in not time. I attempted to send a glare her way, only for it to turn into a smile, reflecting the one on Alice's face as she looked at me.

"Would you two perverts mind toning it down at bit? I'd like to keep my breakfast down, along with a majority of the school's population," a voice drawled from behind, causing me to whirl around to see Lauren staring at us in complete disgust. That was one of my biggest pet peeves. If you don't like something, you don't need to go out of your way to broadcast it. It doesn't stop it from happening and all you're left with is a sour mood.

"Good morning Lauren, how was your weekend?" Alice turned, seeming to have ignored Lauren's previous statement though her words were dripping with sarcasm.

"Just _fabulous_," the blonde sneered. "I hear you two were getting pretty cozy this weekend." How the hell the hell did she- I fucking hate Mike.

"Yup, we even slept together," Alice grinned. Obviously there was a sexual undertone to her words though all we really did that night was sleep, aside from all the awkward situations we had, it was all sleep.

"Ugh you two are disgusting. I remember the first and last time I had a sleep over with that freak. That's when we both found out just how weird_ It _ really is." Blue eyes zeroed in on me, causing me to squirm and look in any direction except hers.

"I told you to stop calling _her_ that," Alice hissed, stepping forward defensively. Lauren took a step forward as well, easily towering over the raven-haired girl since she had a few inches over her. But by the way Alice was glaring even the star quarter back would have backed down.

_ Fight, fight, fight. _

_**Kiss, kiss, kiss. **_

_Shut up brain! _

_**We were both thinking it. **_

"Alice, let's head to class, we've still got to go to our lockers," I attempted coax the girl into following me but it appeared to be a lost cause.

"Why don't you be a good little bitch and listen?" Lauren sneered. I sent a look her way. If anything, I was trying to lure Alice away for her sake.

"You out of all people really shouldn't be throwing the word 'bitch' around so casually," Alice shot back. My eyes darted around the parking lot to see we were attracting a crowd. I'd really just like to have one week where I didn't have to deal with these two and their quarrels. Lauren noticed this as well, reluctantly pulling back from a smirking Alice. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to get any more detention than we already had.

"Mike told me you two were going to Jessica's party Friday, I _can't_ wait." Her lips curled up at that, a hidden threat beneath her words. That's it; I'm hiding under a rock for all of Friday.

"Neither can I." Alice refused to back down. That would have been admirable if she would be the one harassed at the party. Unlike me, no one could hate Alice. Over the month she had made friends more friends than I had in all my time living here, receiving regular 'hellos' in hallway while I got nothing more than an uncomfortable glance.

"Come on Alice." I tugged her arm. Luckily she listened this time and I pulled away to open the school door for her, rolling my eyes when she did a curtsey in gratitude.

"Thank you gentle… woman?" she crinkled her nose adorably, trying to find another word.

"Anything aside from '_freak_' or '_It_' would do," I grinned, quickly shutting my mouth when I noticed the saddened expression possess her features.

"You don't deserved to be called any of those things," she whispered quietly as we came to a stop in front of her locker. I rubbed the back of my head bashfully, looking down at the floor.

"It really doesn't matter Alice," I shrugged, letting my hand drop to my side.

"It _should_," she hissed. I jerked my head up to her eyes beginning to tear up, taking me by complete surprise.

"Alice, don't cry," I spoke softly, taking a tentative step forward. I was never one to comfort someone who was crying. I blame that fact solely on my father, whom I inherited my anti-social behavior from.

"I'm not, I'm just… frustrated. You let these people walk all over you, treating you like complete _shit_," she spat, wiping a stray tear away hastily. "Aren't you ever fed up?"

"All the time, but getting angry won't change anything. Fighting back will only cause more issues; it's just easier this way." My shoulders slumped slightly at the statement. When you took a moment to think about it, it really was a pitiful life I was living.

"But everyone has a boiling point Bella; wouldn't you rather be vocal about your feelings instead of keeping them in a bottle? It's bound to crack eventually and you've already proven that when you ended up slapping Lauren." I cringed at her words. Was I bound to hit a breaking point? I thought I was stronger by showing I could deal with the daily teasing, but maybe it had the exact opposite effect. Maybe I was weaker because of it.

"Then I'll deal with it then." My words came out a lot harsher than I intended, but I wanted to be alone again for the first time in a while. When you're generally used to burying your issues, reluctance should be expected when someone tries to reopen the wounds you're constantly trying to heal.

"I'll see you fourth period alright?" Her features had softened as if she understood. It made me feel awful that I couldn't be normal. That I couldn't be the friend Alice deserved and more.

"Yeah, see you then," I agreed, heading over to my locker. I ended up being late for Calculus though I probably would have been on time if I hadn't doubled the duration of my trip to class walking as slow as I did.

* * *

The rest of week was pretty dull. Alice wasn't her usual bubbly self and I felt responsible knowing I was the cause of that since I hardly spoke more than a sentence after Monday. Angela tried speaking with me on more than a few occasions, wanting to find out exactly what was going on between her step-cousin and me, but I'd only shrug and say I was just as clueless. I guess I was, but I had an idea. Alice had finally realized just how broken I was and any effort she made to fix me would be a lost cause. While one part of me was saddened by the possibility, another wondered if it was for the best.

And when sixth period finally managed to roll around on the presumably endless Friday, you'd think I were child in a candy shop with how giddy I felt at finally being free until I remembered the party I had promised to attend with Alice later that night.

_Shit._

And just like that, there went my rarely good mood.

"Hey Bella," I heard Alice's voice chime behind me. I only raised my hand to wave, indicating I heard her before continuing on my way down the hall and toward the double doors of the gymnasium.

Now I realize some would probably slap me for acting this way toward Alice who had been nothing but kind. But she was Alice Brandon, the unattainable princess while I was merely a lowly peasant. And though I tried to cut back on the self-loathing, it was kind of difficult when everyone that surrounded you hated you with a passion. After a while, you began to hate yourself too.

Sad, but true.

"Trouble in paradise?" Lauren snickered as I passed her on my way into the locker room. I only shrugged and surely didn't miss the disappointed expression on her face from my lack of response that she quickly concealed. I wondered if she was beginning to realize that I was acting the way I usually did before Alice had arrived.

As I made my way to my locker, I opened it glumly before dressing out for class. I forced myself not to spare a glance toward Alice when she passed by although I could feel her gaze practically burning into the back of my skull.

_Maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away. _

_** We both know Alice better than that. **_

_We're screwed. _

"Bella!" I squeaked, nearly tripping since I was in the process of pulling up my gym shorts. I looked over to see Alice standing behind me, identical PE shorts except they looked _so _much better on her and a pink bra to conceal those luscious-

"Are you going to keep giving me the silent treatment?" She glared, crossing her arms over her chest, causing her breasts to rise in the process.

_ Someone please get this clueless temptress away from me before I explode_.

"I-I haven't been g-giving you the silent treatment," I assured her. More like a silent way of telling her that I didn't feel like talking. That's not the silent treatment right?

_**Bella you idiot. **_

"Yes you have-" she leaned in closer. Her beautiful brown doe eyes swimming with a vulnerability that I had never seen before. "-did I do something wrong?"

I turned my face away, feeling as the blush crept into my cheeks without my permission. "Can you please put on some clothes before we have a full on conversation?"

"I've come to the realization that when you don't have clothes on, people tend to listen to you more," I sent her a shocked glance. "Not like I do this on a daily basis geez, I just meant that people generally tell you everything when they're put in an extremely awkward situation. And judging by your blush, I'd say you're highly uncomfortable now."

"Very uncomfortable," I nodded, still refusing to look her way.

"Well tell me what I did wrong and I'll put a shirt on," she bargained. I rolled my eyes at how immature the smaller girl could be sometimes before sighing and turning to look her straight in the eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you just reminded me of problems that I should have dealt with a long time ago. And usually when I'm in situations like that, I shut off. I shut people out and you go to see that. If anything I thought you were mad at me for being so weak…" I looked down.

"Bella look at me," she spoke gently, but with more authority when I refused to catch her eye. "Bella, look up." I slowly raised my eyes from the ground to meet her gaze. "You're the strongest person I've met by far. Anyone else would have broken down by now-" When I tried to protest she cut me off. "-I know you think you're broken, but you don't see yourself like I do. I see the girl that blushes every time I get a little too close, the girl who cares about every small detail of my life I tell and the girl that's… different. Not in the way that you say either. In the way that makes you better than everyone else. I can hardly think of a single person -aside from you- that who would rather read a novel at home than go shopping," she smiled softly, Jake's words slowly filtering into my brain.

'_She probably hasn't made a move because she's waiting for you to.'_

_Thank you Obi-Wan Jake. _

"A-Alice we should go out… o-or Coach Clapp might make us run laps."

Okay so I might have caved a little. Or a lot. Give me a break.

By the way Alice's shoulders slumped, I could tell she was expecting more from me as well. But hey, even the Cowardly Lion didn't earn his courage without the journey.

Once we finished dressing out we headed back into the gym, not saying another word.

* * *

There has to be a thousand other things I'd rather do than play dodge ball. One would be listing every single one of those things, which I'd do happily, but unfortunately that's made rather difficult when I have a ball flying from my head from _every_ direction. Even if I was on their team, I'd be the main fucking target. And I gave up on getting out since people would always manage to get me back in five seconds later. I was the main entertainment after all. The only perk to all of it was the fact that Alice is on my team, gracefully dodging anything that comes her way, though it's hardly anything. With how small and delicate she looks, you wouldn't even hit her with a feather.

Our eyes locked from opposite sides of the court momentarily and I tried to force the grimace on my face into a smile. She didn't buy it of course and after some matrix like moves I make my way over to her.

"I feel pumped," I stated sarcastically.

"I'm sure you do," she rolled her eyes before they widened at something in my peripheral.

"Alice what-"

A large rubber ball connected to the right side of my head, sending me falling down hard on my ass and Alice was kneeling within seconds.

_"Man down! Man down!"_ I exclaimed in a hushed whisper, gripping the side of my head with both hands, earning a melodic chuckle from the shorter girl.

"Come on let's go sit out, if Coach dares to try and make you play again, he'll have to deal with me," she said to me, standing and holding out a hand for me to take and I took it with a grateful smile before she steered us off of the court and onto the benches.

"By the way Lauren is smirking at us, it's safe to say that was her throw," Alice informed me, looking back on the court before her eyes shifted back to me. Wanting to steer her away from the topic of anything involving that sadistic blonde I said: "You know Alice, I would've done one of the biggest movie cliche and jumped in front of that ball if it was flying towards you, you couldn't even give me a warning?" I arched a brow in question.

"Well sorry," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. I couldn't hold back laughing at her response, which caused me to wince at the throbbing pain in the side of my head.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked, shifting closer and tucking a stray hair behind my ear to get a better look. As her finger grazed my temple, I nodded frantically in order to stop her from touching me, for you know, obvious reasons. Harmed or not, Alice made it particularly hard to control certain _impulses._

"Yeah, the periods almost over so I'll just head home and get some ice after school," I assured her.

"But don't you have detention?" She reminded me.

"That's right, I do," I recalled, slapping my hand against my forehead and wincing again.

"Come on, I'll get you out of it," she promised, getting off the bench and tugging me along behind her.

* * *

"I owe you big time," I said, staring in awe at the girl beside me.

"You'll pay me back by letting me drive you home and actually _see _the inside of your house for once," she informed me, tugging my arm and dragging me toward her vehicle. I let out a fake gasp, clutching a hand to my chest.

"A conspiracy! You and Lauren conspired together didn't you? Maybe you guys even got Coach Clapp in on it and that's why he chose dodge ball. All so you could see the inside of my home!" She rolled her eyes at my rant.

"Or maybe you just don't want me to see your room," she smirked, pressing a button on her key ring and unlocking her car.

"And I'm entitled to feel that way! My room is my bat cave, my sanctuary, center of all things involving teen angst, and don't even get me started on-"

"Then I won't," she chuckled, holding a hand up as an indication for me to stop.

"Sorry," I said shyly over the hood of the car before opening the passenger side door and sliding in, Alice following suit seconds later.

To be honest, this was the reason why I didn't want to catch rides with Alice very often that involved her picking me up or dropping me off. She'd want to see my room, which I had grown rather protective of since it was the place I'd spend most of my time in. Over the years it had become my retreat from the bitter reality that constantly surrounded me, I had personalized it in every way to tell anyone who walked in, just exactly who I was since I never got the chance to say it aloud often. But as I thought about it more, I realized how badly I wanted the raven-haired beauty to know who I truly was instead of the endless rumors filling our school hallways. I wanted her to hear my story.

"Ready?" She looked in my direction and I nodded. I _was_ ready. I just wasn't entirely sure for how much.

* * *

**AN: Hope that the crying part was realistic. I know when I get overly frustrated, tears just come because you can't find a way to vocalize all the feelings running through your head. **


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Over a month this time… I'm sorry guys. I'm at a particularly shitty time in my life and the thing is I'm only in high school and so far I've seen that life can only get worse as the years go by. Yes, very depressing. What I'm saying is that it's hard to motivate myself to write, but I never forgot about this story. I kept trying, kept forcing myself and finally I started writing throughout the day yesterday when I could. So please forgive for me for this late update, hope you enjoy. **_**Awkward**_** was on during one point as a typed this which is explains why some of it is extra witty. **

* * *

**"Sometimes we let affection, go unspoken. Sometimes we let our love go unexpressed. Sometimes we can't find words to tell our feelings, especially those we love the best" (Unknown). **

* * *

**_[Later that day]_**

Twenty minutes later found us parked in front of my house with me holding onto the clutch above as if my life depended on it. During that drive, there was a high possibility that it did. And you'd think that my father being the _Chief_ of Police would faze Alice, but guess not. Instead she had sped down the unoccupied street without a care in the world, only slowing when she was required to turn onto my street. Even she wasn't prepared to recreate some scene from _Fast & the Furious _and end up wrapped around some tree. And I was _very_ grateful for that.

"You're insane," I told her bluntly, still refusing the release my grip on the clutch above.

"Oh relax Bella, you need to learn how to live on the wild side," she teased, adding in a wink before she began to unbuckle her seat belt. After a full minute of nagging I had gotten her to use it. So at least I can say that I did something productive that day, aside from not dying of a panic attack.

"Living on the wild side will just make sure you end up on the _side_ of the road," I stated, opening my car my car door and removing my own seatbelt before tugging my backpack on one shoulder. Once I slid out I watched as Alice did the same, slamming her car door and gracefully walking around the vehicle and to my side.

"Well you know what they say. You only live-"

"Finish that and I don't think we can be friends anymore Alice," I teased, leading her up my drive way and toward my front door. I watched from the corner of my eye as I unlocked the door, noting how adorable she looked when she pouted and suppressed the smirk that threatened to cross my features.

"After you," I gestured inside and Alice did a playful courtesy before her way into my home. I shook my head in amusement; a smile had then made its way on my face as I closed the door behind me and locked it.

"So this is _la casa de Swan_, huh?" Alice spun around, taking in her surroundings. I tried not to focus too much on the way her skirt fluttered upward.

"The one and only," I mumbled, heading toward the kitchen after leaving our backpacks in the living room with an eager Alice trailing behind me. Maybe it was the fact that I had lived here for almost seven years, but my house didn't seem _that_ special.

"Want a drink or anything?" I asked, but she only shook her head. I then proceeded to shrug and made my way over to the fridge then, opening up the freezer and taking an ice pack out. I tried my best to hide the wince I made from the cold when I applied it to my temple. Of course this didn't pass by Alice and she had made her way over to me quickly, removing the ice pack from my hand and pointing to the head chair at the dining table. I face it towards her before taking a seat.

"You're supposed to wrap it first Bella," she scolded me, grabbing a couple of paper towels to wrap around the pack before gesturing for me to lean back as she reapplied it to the injury. I let out a low hiss as I close my eyes, but eventually grew accustomed to the feeling.

"You're so adorable," Alice said as if she couldn't help herself. I snapped my eyes open and my breath hitched as I took in her proximity for the first time. One hand was assisting in adding pressure to the ice pack while another rested on my mid thigh for support.

_Well hello there. _

I returned my gaze back to Alice, locking onto those alluring brown eyes before dropping them once more, except to her lips this time. Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth. Did she know how incredibly sexy that was? I was pretty much convinced she was part succubus by that point.

Movement retracted me from my thoughts as I noticed Alice leaning forward and my heart rate rose to a dangerous pace and I was feeling lightheaded, possibly for the fact that my blood was heading down south.

"W-Want to see my c-comics?" I croaked out.

_Smooth Bella, smooth. _

* * *

I was pretty sure that Alice was secretly Aphrodite herself, it would make sense. No one ever seemed to get my blood racing like her. Then again, no one had ever shown much interest me like she had. Regardless, something about her being in my bedroom immediately made my mind stray to the gutter.

Another thing was for sure, I wasn't the only one impacted by this sexual tension since it had taken Alice more than a minute to collect herself before we headed upstairs, though she was pretty good at hiding it, something I wasn't too good at doing when my _friend _had intentions of coming out to play. Thankfully with enough thoughts of dead kittens and toothless grandmas I wasn't on the verge of bursting, literally.

"To be honest I kind of did take you for a neat freak," Alice commented, taking in the sight of my room. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion as I took a look around as well.

My queen-sized bed lay in the center of the room with a purple bed spread –my mother's choice of course– with white lining at the bottom. It was made of course, making me probably the only teenager in Forks, maybe even the whole entire state that willingly made their bed. Like the lining of the bread spread, the walls were a similar white, which was again something my mother coordinated. I preferred darker colors, but eh.

Directly below the window across my bedroom was my desk, a solid oak one –like my bedroom floor– I had come across at a garage sale and had been set on buying despite my mother's protest of it not fitting in with the design of my bedroom. Of course I hardly cared and there it sat. I always loved things with a story.

Letting my eyes skim past my closet that was at the far side of my room, opposite of my window, I came to a stop as my eyes fixed on my bookshelf that was pressed against the wall beside my bed. It contained all my favorite books, mangas, and comics. The ones I could fit at least.

Okay so maybe I was a neat freak, nothing was where it shouldn't have been. Even my dirty clothes were in the hamper, so what, sue me. At least I wasn't a complete slob. Besides I was only this way when it came to my room, and my bathroom, and my school locker... alright I was a complete neat freak.

"Nothing wrong with being a little organized," I pointed out, displaying a mock offended expression.

She whirled around to face me with an incredulous expression. "Bella there is a fine line between being a 'little organized' and obsessive compulsive disorder." I literally thought the she had seriously believed I had OCD until she cracked a grin.

"Whatever, I can be dirty too," I grumbled, but immediately froze at my poor choice of words. "I-I didn't mean it like that, stop laughing!"

Alice was hardly listening as she laughed loudly clutching her stomach as if it were to fall out if she didn't. At how hard she was laughing I wouldn't doubt it. Eventually I just rolled my eyes and headed over to the book shelf. "Do you want to see my comics or what?"

"The first step is admitting you have a problem, Bellsy." Alice finally sobered up, making her way over to me as she let out the occasional chuckle.

"First off, never call me that again and second, you're a shop addict so you can't talk," I indicated.

"Touché _Bellsy_, now let's call a truce and look at that extremely nerdy collection of yours," Alice responded, standing beside me before she started scanning them over.

Was it ridiculous for me to feel a little insecure? I mean, everything on that book shelf were practically my babies and I could even remember the moment I had gotten each of them and trust me, there were _a lot_ of moments.

"_The Walking Dead_ is a comic? I thought it was just a show," Alice spoke, bringing me from my musings. She seemed to do that a lot lately and that was usually a difficult task. Even my mom had some issues getting my attention.

"The show is based off the comic series." I pinched the bridge of my nose. She was lucky she was so cute or I might have tossed her out the window.

Okay maybe not that dramatic, but still I would have sported many fantasies similar to that. But obviously with Alice, my fantasies seemed to lean more toward-

"Don't get mad at me! You've got to ask in order to learn," she pointed out, turning to face me and crossing her arms. I think she was trying to come off as intimidating, but it didn't really work out too well. She was Alice, so that was to be expected.

"Sorry," I grinned. "But that's like asking if the original _Spider man_ movies were inaccurate."

"They are? How?!"

"_Well_, just like the new movie _The Amazing __Spider-man_, Peter should have had to use those web shooters in order to aim his webs since he couldn't on his own in the comics. The only time he was even capable of shooting webs without the assistance of the web-shooters was when he was Venom," I stated. It was common knowledge, well at least to your average nerd it was.

Alice had the strangest smile on her face when I had finished explaining and it took a 'what' from me to shake her out of her stupor.

"Nothing, I just never realized how much…-" she took a step forward. "-of a nerd you are!"

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm not a nerd. I just have good taste," I smirked cockily, having recovered from the moment before.

"Are you insinuating that I don't?"She challenged.

"That's exactly what I'm insinuating," I refused to back down, even getting confident enough to take a step towards until there was only half a foot of space between us that could easily have been crossed. Of course neither of us did, but by the way Alice's eyes kept flickering to my lips and back to my eyes, I'm sure the feeling of wanting to was indeed mutual.

"I'd say I have pretty good taste." Her eyes locked onto mine and I whimpered. Literally whimpered before I spun away, heading over to the television. "Up for a marathon of _The Walking Dead_?"

* * *

Alice and I lounged on the bed, already in the second episode of the first season. I had to excuse myself a few minutes into the first episode when Alice got a little cozy beside me, the girl loved cuddling and so did I, but my _friend_ did too. After I had come back, I had put a reasonable distance between us that allowed me to breathe and not have to look down self-consciously at my crotch every five seconds.

To make matters worse, Lori and Shane had decided to do the nasty in the woods and I had been so distracted I hadn't thought of some excuse to skip forward. Let me tell you, sex scenes are not good for the sexually frustrated.

I sneaked a glance at Alice who was fiddling with her thumbs with her hands resting against her stomach as she bit her lip, her eyes focused on the screen. Regardless of the fact that the show took place in an apocalypse, I would've loved to be in their position –no pun intended– except with Alice beneath me of course, moaning my name, clutching my shoulders as I thrust into her-

"Bella?" I need to stop zoning out, it was getting ridiculous.

"Huh?" She was facing me then, I hadn't even known how long I was staring at her. It didn't help that I sporting a semi erection just from the dirty fantasies swimming in my head.

_Down boy!_

And there we were again, in the position we had been in twice before. Eyes that continuously danced between lips and the other's eyes, I hadn't released how desperately I craved to feel her lips pressed against mine until that moment and let my instincts take over as I leant forward first and she did the same until only a mere inch or two was left between us.

"Uh Bella, is something vibrating?" Alice asked, her eyes dropping down.

_Kinky. _

_**It's your phone genius. **_

_Oh, right. _

"Yeah, sorry, it's my uh phone." I looked down to also see a slight bulge forming.

_Thank you anonymous caller for this escape! _

"Be back in a minute," I promised, almost falling off the bed in my haste before quickly exiting the room and heading down the stairs. Once I made it into the kitchen I pulled my phone out and tapped the 'answer'.

"Hello?" I was still attempting to catch my breath and by the husky laugh I heard in response, I could tell they noticed too.

"_Hey Bella_." Immediately I recognized the voice. It was Jacob and he had just cock-blocked me. Was it strange for me to be slightly relieved that he had?

"What do you need Jake?" I wondered.

"_Just wanted to know if you'd need a ride, but it sounds like you might need an oxygen tank,_" Jake chuckled.

"Y-Yeah I was uh… a little preoccupied before you called-"

"_Oh god were you shaking the-_"

"No!" I cut him off. As if I'd be that honest with him. "It's just that Alice is here-"

"_Bella you dog! I never knew you had it in you_," Jake said proudly and I desperately wanted to punch him through the phone.

"It's not like that!" I hissed lowly, remembering Alice was just a floor above and made my way into the living room. "We may or may not have been about to kiss though…" I plopped down of the couch, cradling to the phone to my ear.

"_Well, my apologies then. So no on the ride I guess_?"

"Yeah and how are the bikes coming by the way?" I had wanted to ask all week, but it kept slipping my mind.

"_Well, Quil and Embry have been stopping by to help me out lately, unlike someone, and we've put yours as the top priority since mine will take the longest anyways. It might even be done mid next week. You talk to Charlie about it yet?" _

"No," I groaned, slapping a hand to my forehead. I had forgotten about Charlie or maybe I had done it intentionally because I knew he'd say no. "We'll just cross that bridge when we come to it I guess."

"_Because that won't turn into a completely disaster_," Jake commented sarcastically. One could hope. "_See you later then I guess, can't wait to meet Alice. Your beloved, your one and only, your-_"

I hung up on him before he could even finish, pressing ignore on the next incoming call. Yeah I was _not_ going to waste anymore time listening to that, especially with Alice upstairs.

And what was I going to do once I went back upstairs? Leaning into that kiss was just a lapse of judgment. I wasn't even certain she wanted to be with me for the reasons I wanted to be with her. Weren't there other steps you were supposed to take first? Like a date. But this was the twenty-first century. A large about of people just had sex before they even started dating a person. Not that that was what I wanted. Okay I did, but I'd rather do it right and take all the necessary steps of a proper relationship.

_Oh god, I sound like one of those teachers you hear during Sex Ed. _

_**You really do. Now shut up and head upstairs already. **_

* * *

We didn't get into anymore situations like earlier. And Alice was the reason for that surprisingly since she'd always find chances to brush arms with me or any other subtle form of physical contact. So when it was time to leave Alice only grabbed her backpack and headed downstairs. My parents hadn't come home yet either and it was thirty after seven. I already knew my mother wouldn't since she had to attend some book club every Friday and my father would be in the La Push again, which was convenient since no one really wanted the chief in town for the party.

That was another thing. My dad had been spending more and more time there and Leah had told me that he was often at their house. I realized Sue was grieving about the lost of her husband, but that didn't mean I wanted to lose my father when he decided to be absent a majority of the time. My mother even quit waiting for him at dinner. She'd just put plastic wrap on a plate full of food and set it in the fridge. It was getting ridiculous and I couldn't even think about how this was affecting her. This was _her_ husband and maybe it was time to tell her where he had been all that time.

But then wasn't the time, I had a party to attend, _oh joy_. So I grabbed my leather jacket and sent a quick text to my mom and dad saying I'd be spending the night at Alice's, which technically was true. Telling the whole truth would mean adding the part where I'd be indulging in underage drinking, which most parents don't really appreciate.

* * *

**AN: Sorry, this is not the party chapter,_ again_. I never plan it out, I usually just write. So next chapter definitely will be since there's nothing else to cover. I wanted some Bellice moments and there were plenty. A lot of almost kisses. I do enjoy teasing, it's kind of my thing. Also I hope I didn't offend anyone when I spoke about OCD. I have it as well and although that doesn't change it being possibly offensive to someone, just know I didn't do that intentionally. Hope to have the next chapter up soon~ **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Yes… long time **_**however **_**I think I'll make it up to you guys after you read this. It's **_**the**_** chapter guys and **_**things**_** will happen, descriptive right? And right on the Fourth of July... or right before it ends at least. Whelp anyways, enjoy~ **

* * *

**Song used later in chapter: Needy Girl by Chromeo (I suggest you listen to it during the part).**

* * *

_**Things can change drastically, but that doesn't always mean it's for the worst.**_

* * *

_**[That Night]**_

"Why was your mom so anxious about you going to a party?" I asked as we slipped in her car. Anxious wasn't even the word. Her mom looked downright distraught until Alice assured her I was going to be there as well. I wasn't exactly sure how me being there would do anything, but I definitely would be the worst chaperon if that's what she meant.

"She just doesn't want me slipping into old habits," Alice informed me, keeping her eyes on the road. I was going to press for more until I caught the look on her face that obviously meant she didn't want to get into it much.

The party was well under way by the time we arrived, which was a quarter after ten. We were literally fashionably late when Alice had decided to drop by her house to switch her attire for a white silk blouse tucked into a black circle skirt with flats to match. Unlike the other girls that made their way into the house, whose outfits left little to the imagination, Alice's managed to be elegant yet suggestive at the same time.

"Ready?" Alice asked, clutching my hand and giving it a soft squeeze. My heart fluttered at the innocent gesture, a smile touching my face before nodding. I let her tug me across the front lawn toward the front door of the Stanley residence without any protest though my nerves were pretty high.

I had never been to a party before. Strange right? The only time I'd ever even gotten drunk was when Jake had managed to sneak a few beers out of his father's refrigerator my freshman year and we both ended up puking everywhere with the worst hangovers known to man the following morning. Thankfully Billy never told my father if we promised never to drink again or at least not in his presence. With that said, I hadn't touched alcohol since and felt no urge to.

"Going to be honest Alice, if I hear one Ke$ha song I'm leaving," I swore.

"Then I guess I'll just have to hold onto you because you'll be hearing a lot of her."

I mentally groaned.

Forced social interaction was a _bitch_.

* * *

Four Ke$ha songs later and I ended up sulking in the kitchen. Alice had struck up a conversation with one Katie Marshall and I managed to excuse myself quickly after to get a drink. I had no intention of getting drunk, but since I was already heading in that direction, I'd probably be able to find a bottle of water or something.

The voyage to the kitchen definitely hadn't been an easy one. I was constantly shoved, receiving dirty looks and on one occasion someone had grabbed my ass. I almost considered drinking just to wash that single memory away. Though when I felt someone's hand ghost over the side of my hip from behind, I thought running way altogether might be even more beneficial.

I rounded on the stranger to tell them to do something else with their hands that wouldn't even be anatomically possible, but when I saw a smirking Leah, the anger simmered down into agitation.

"Don't scare me like that," I hissed.

"Just making sure you're keeping your guard up," Leah assured. She peered behind me to the counter with a variety of liquor scattered across it. "You sure you can handle a drink?"

"Not drinking, me and alcohol don't mix very well remember?" I reminded her. Leah cracked a grin, nodding and moving behind the counter to make her own drink.

"So where's Jake?" I asked.

"He said something about hitting on some girl," she shrugged, creating a mixture of vodka and cranberry juice, though the juice might has well have been a drop compared to how much vodka she poured in.

"Oh I have to see this," I smirked. Seeing Jake hit on someone was like expecting a dog to walk on its hind legs, both a lost cause, but entertaining to watch.

My eyes swept the room for Jake, but found Alice instead. She was watching me -or us- since her eyes kept flickering between Leah and me. Letting my eyes drift to her left, I saw Jake speaking to Alice -or trying at least-, but she hardly noticed him.

"I think I'll go save Alice from Jake," I told her, taking a few steps forward already.

"That's Alice?" She looked behind me, and then gave me an approving look. "Damn Bella, she's _hot_, like s_corching_ _hot_. Let me meet her too." It wasn't even a request and I reluctantly turned and led her over to the pair.

"So did you fall from heaven because-"

"Hey Alice," I greeted, sliding up next to the girl. Jake looked a bit irritated that I had interrupted him during his _best_ pick up line. Yes best, they only got worst from there. But once he realized who he had been hitting on, he immediately backed off.

"So this is Alice?" He grinned from ear to ear. Alice was looking at me with so much confusion that I would've laughed in any other situation if it wouldn't have made me look like a completely loony.

"Uh yeah, Alice these are my friends Leah and Jake," I gestured to them.

"Friends? We're definitely more than friends Bella," Leah pointed out, taking a sip from her cup and Jake nodded, still grinning like a total creep. That was definitely accurate. We were as close as most siblings, though Leah and Jake were closer having known each other longer and living closest to one another. Still I never felt out of place with them, which was something that didn't happen with most.

"Nice to meet you," Alice offered a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. My eyebrows furrowed, did she not like them? Well I guess maybe Jake flirting with her had totally put her off, it had happened plenty of times before, but she was looking at Leah as if she completely despised her.

"You alright?" I leaned in to whisper in her ear.

A chagrined expression came to her face when she looked at me. I had never been more confused in my life.

"I'm going to get a drink," she said.

"Want me to come with you?" I asked, already making a move to come follow her.

"That's alright. Maybe you should stay with Leah."

"Why would I stay with-oh… _oh_." Now things were starting to make sense. I pulled Alice aside so the others wouldn't hear. "There's nothing going on between Leah and I, Alice. We're practically like sisters." Again I wanted to laugh, but she didn't look like she'd appreciate it as her lips pouted. Oh how desperately I wanted to kiss that pout away.

"Oh," Alice said, suddenly looking bashful.

"My, my, was Alice Brandon jealous?" I asked in a teasing manner. She playfully shoved my shoulder before gripping my hand and leading me toward the kitchen.

"Maybe," she smirked at me over her shoulder. "But now I really need a drink to wash down some of my embarrassment."

"You sure you want to drink?" I asked, a bit apprehensive because of the conversation we had earlier.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Alice grinned.

* * *

An intoxicated Alice was _interesting_. I didn't exactly know how else to describe her. If you thought she was carefree sober, she was in, complete and utter bliss. And she really loved to _dance_. Even with alcohol in her system, she had a grace I couldn't even manage sober. I tried telling her this, but the twentieth time she had asked me to dance with her I relented and let her tug onto the makeshift dance floor.

_Wanna be by yourself and no-one else, alright. _

_ And you wanna go out, wanna scream and shout tonight. _

_ You want some space, like get out of my face, alright. _

_ And you want me back; put your life on track tonight. _

"I love this song," she whispered into my ear, leaning a little too close for comfort. I nearly jumped when I felt her tongue graze the outer shell of my ear. I could only sputter a response as I felt a fresh wave of arousal settle in the pit of my stomach.

_Not good_.

I placed my hands on her waist in an attempt to move her away, but she seemed to interpret it differently, pressing her front flesh against mine.

"_Alice_," I said breathlessly.

She only smiled seductively and began gyrating her hips against mine. I could feel myself hardening, which was only one of the few reasons Alice needed to stop, another being the fact that she was drunk.

When she leaned in again, I swore she was going to kiss me, but instead began to whisper in my ear once more. It took me a moment to realize she was whispering/singing the lyrics, her voice practically dripping with sex.

"_You're a needy girl, I can tell when I look in your big brown eyes. _

_ You want my world, but how can I do yours if I can't do mine?_

_ It's all about what you want, what you say, how you feel, how play the game. _

_ You're a needy girl, and you want my world. _

_ I try to change, knowing it's not the same_."

_Oh god_, the way her hips rolled against me as if they were pure liquid made it hard to even remember my name and I mean that in honest truth. You could've called me Rachel and I wouldn't know the difference. And by then I was already semi-erect and when her grinding became more insistent, I could tell she felt it too. Thank god for the surrounding dancers helping to conceal us.

_**She's drunk, Bella. **_

_But it feels so good…_

_**She's still drunk.**_

_ But-_

_**Drunk. **_

_Curse my conscience. _

"Alice." I stilled her hips. She looked up at the interruption. Her face a tinted red, whether it from intoxication or the arousal I was battling with as well, I wasn't quite sure.

"Why'd you stop?" she pouted, pressing her forehead against my shoulder and attempting to move her hips once more, but I step back before they could make contact with mine. I immediately rushed for an answer when a hurt expression replaced her confused one.

"W-Well you're drunk and I shouldn't be taking advantage of that." I looked down bashfully.

I chanced a glance back up at her and she was smiling at me as if I were the sun.

"I'm not drunk Bella, past buzzed _definitely_, but not drunk. I just felt like enjoying myself."

_And getting me all hot and bothered was the first idea to pop in your head? _

"Interesting way to enjoy yourself," I grumbled and she smirked.

"Just consider it as payback for earlier," Alice winked. Ah right, the multiple times we almost kissed. So it seems I wasn't the only one left hot and bothered and Alice definitely hadn't forgotten about it.

"Right about that… I need to uh...I-I need to pee?"

I got my charisma from my father if you're wondering.

Alice cocked a brow since I guess I made it sound more like a question and as if it were somehow the explanation behind how much of a wuss I was, but I just need a moment to collect myself. Alice wanted answers and I wanted some relief for the throbbing boner in my pants. Neither of us was going to get what we wanted.

"I'll be right back." I spun on my heels and headed toward the stairs, hopping up two at a time because though I was wearing compression shorts, there was still a subtle outline I wanted none of my classmates to see. I raced in the master bedroom and yanked open the adjoined bathroom door.

The sound of my jaw hitting the floor could have been heard in China.

Leah and Jake were in the middle of a very heated make out session; Leah leaning over the counter and everything. That helped kill my erection faster than a golf program. They broke apart as soon as they spotted me. I had never seen Leah looked so embarrassed and Jake had a smug grin planted on his face.

"I don't even want to know, just get out," I ushered them out of the bathroom, shutting the door before plotting down on the rim of the tub with my head in my hands. Not even five minutes later the door was burst open.

"Bella," Angela shouted and I fell backwards out of fright, my head bumping the wall behind me and my legs handing over the edge.

"What the fuck Ang?" I groaned, glaring up at her. She was trying to suppress her laughter and when I asked what she wanted she seemed to remember her purpose.

"Alice is fighting with Lauren."

That got me up.

* * *

Alright so Angela definitely could've phrased that we came back downstairs, most of the people had formed a crowd and we had to push our way through until we caught sight of Alice and Lauren going back and forth at each other like a tennis match.

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"At least I don't spend every waking minute obsessing over some girl I supposedly hate."

"At least I'm not hooking up with someone who's only other hope of getting laid is getting kidnapped by some matriarchal cult."

"Harsh," I murmured, though I had to give Lauren a point for her cleverness.

"Way to deflect Lauren, I bet everyone else is just as curious as me as to why Bella pisses you off so much. Even I'm not convinced that you can be _that_ much of a bitch."

"Oh she can," I whispered and Lauren's head whipped around to my direction. I instinctively shrunk back, trying to hide behind Angela. I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought.

"Got something to say tranny?" she sneered. Alright, I'll admit, that one hurt.

"Not at all," I shook my head. "You may continue to degrade me in front of my peers if you wish." I said it so dryly you couldn't even tell if it was sarcasm or not.

"Should I tell them exactly how I found out you were a freak then?" She took an offensive step closer. "I bet they want to hear _all_ about it."

"Don't," I said quietly, only for her ears to hear.

"Why not? It's such a great story, isn't it?" she sneered, leaning closer. My heart increased it speed, not at the proximity, but at the fear that she might actually say the last secret we shared aloud.

"Because you promised," I said shakily, my eyes darting around before resettling on her.

"Well things change Bella," she met my gaze levelly before moving away and looking toward everyone else. "But as I was saying-"

"Why are you doing this Lauren? We used to be friends b-before-"

"We were never friends," she growled at me. "You'd have to be a person in order for that happen."

"Whatever the hell we were then! Honestly, I'm asking you not to tell anyone because you promised you wouldn't and after all the shit you've put me through, I think you owe me that. My condition shouldn't make me any less than a person whether you agree or not." My fist were bunched up at my side and I wouldn't look at any one else beside Lauren.

"I don't owe you anything Bella, but… you do owe a new comforter."

A few people barked out laughter while other's faces contorted in disgust at whatever images were going on in their head. It wasn't a direct revelation, but it was enough to make my face flush a bright crimson shade.

I had enough and stalked forward, shaking my arm loose out of Angela's grasp when she tried to hold me back. Lauren seemed shocked that I actually stood my ground and didn't curl into a ball in some corner.

"Actually Lauren, I think you owe me five years of my life that you've manage to make complete hell. I-I never did anything wrong, I was born the way I am and despite how you hate it and I-I hate it, it's not going to change anything. No one asked you to like me, or be friends with me. But you chose to and then you found out and made me feel like complete shit when I was already as confused as _hell_. I'm a fucking person Lauren and I _do_ have feelings. I'm wondering if you do though because any caring person wouldn't do that to someone…" My eyes were brimming over with tears, but I kept going.

"A-And Alice is right," I looked at her for the first time. Her expression was a mixture of pity and sadness and I had to look away or else the tears would actually fall. "I should stick up for myself more because you're a complete _bitch_ and for no reason and _no one_ deserves to be treated like I have. Whatever the hell your problem is… it's yours not mine."

I looked over to Alice when Lauren didn't reply. I had been kind of scared that she was thinking of something especially cruel to lash out with, but she actually looked repentant.

"Can we go?" I asked the raven haired girl. I didn't even wait for an answer, bidding Jake and Leah a quick goodbye before gripping Alice's hand and tugging her through the crowd. I didn't let go until we made it outside and Alice had to forcefully pull her hand from mine.

"Bella!" She called out. That's when I realized she had been calling my name for a while, but it hardly seemed relevant enough to respond to.

"What?" I didn't sound angry. My voice just sounded completely deflated.

"Are you alright?" she asked. When I looked at her as if to say 'of course not', she offered an apologetic smile. "I know everyone asks that… I just meant… I don't know. I keep doing this to you huh? Every time I fight with Lauren you always get hurt. I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be but-"

"Alice I'm not mad at you," I hastily cut her off. I didn't think there'd ever be a day I'd be mad at her.

"You're not?" She sounded genuinely puzzled and I shook my head.

"Of course I wish we could've been at the party without making a scene, but those things needed to be said," I shrugged, taking a step forward before gripping her hand in mine to assure her nothing was wrong. For a while we just stared into each other's eyes, searching for different things of course, but thinking the same thing.

"Can I kiss you?" I blurted out, interrupting the silence, unable to fight the impulse any longer. She seemed a bit hesitant at first before smilingly widely and nodding. She closed the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my neck and I leaned down, my heart beating faster and faster as inch by inch the range between us was shortened and then-

We kissed. Every cliché you could imagine happened. Fireworks and sparks everywhere, creating a wall between us and reality and we were in our own little world. I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her impossibly closer and loving how soft her lips felt against mine, moving with as much passion I put forth. I had never known how badly I wanted her until that moment and I wanted to show exactly how much as I began to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away. It was too dark to see much other than the outline of her features, so I couldn't tell how red her cheeks were, but I was pretty sure mine were glowing.

"As much as I'd love to continue this, I think it's only right you take me on a date first," Alice spoke, by how breathless she sounded, I was sure she was just as affected by the kiss as I was.

"It's only fair," I agreed with a soft chuckle.

"But one more wouldn't hurt…"

"Definitely not," I nodded eagerly.

It ended up being two more times and I was smiling like an idiot by the time we reached her car.

"If it isn't obvious, you're driving because driving while buzzed is considered drunk and that is not my forte," Alice informed me, tossing me the keys. In all honesty, I was a bit timid to drive her car. It was a Porsche for Christ's sake. As if reading my mind she said: "I know she may look intimidating, but she's an _amazing _ride."

The innuendo to her words killed me.

* * *

**AN: Alright everyone, my apologies for the late updates, but I've been working on another Bellice story I've been completely absorbed by.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Another filler, sorry. Next will be Monday at school. ****Also, for the last chapter and this one, I've put my own words for quotes since most didn't capture what I tried to address. So my apologies if they aren't too great. **

**Bella's motorcycle: ****1992 **_**Honda Nighthawk 750 (Google if you don't know what that is)**_

* * *

_**They say the bat of a butterfly's wing can cause a tsunami. Just imagine what the choices you make can do.**_

* * *

_**[The Morning after- Saturday] **_

Yesterday morning if you had told me I'd be kissing Alice, I wouldn't have believed you. I could still hardly wrap my head around the thought. It felt so unlike me, but then again I hadn't really been the person I was so used to being ever since Alice had arrived. I became someone better, who I didn't even know I was capable of being, someone who stood up to Lauren Mallory, the girl who used to make me cringe and cower.

A month ago I'd be at home, probably playing Xbox live with a bunch of other people who were just as low on the social scale as me, but instead I was in bed, with Alice Brandon. A girl whose arm was thrown casually over my stomach and a leg over my own, settling in between. Fortunately she was asleep so she couldn't see how red my face got when I noticed our position.

When we arrived at her house last night, it was an unspoken agreement that we'd talk later since we were both exhausted both physically and emotionally. A conversation about our feelings for one another would've been too much for so late at night. So after Alice changed -I chose to just sleep in my regular clothes- , we both collapsed on the bed and slept, nothing more, nothing less.

But now it was later and I was a bit fearful. Some would say I was being irrational for being so insecure about how exactly Alice felt for me and I'd agree with them, but that didn't stop the feeling of anxiety. I wasn't used to liking someone the way I liked Alice. Yes there was Angela, but even then I knew it was just a playground crush. With Alice, it was a whole new realm of feelings of an intensity I had never encountered before, that came blasting at me at full speed. There were no pauses, no stops, and before the kiss I was able to ignore these feelings, but things were different. _We_ were different.

"How long are you going to watch me sleep?" Alice grumbled, raising her head from my shoulder. I hadn't realized that I completely zoned out with my eyes fixed on her.

"I-I wasn't… I was just thinking."

"About me?" she grinned before resting her head on my chest and carelessly drawing circles on top of my clothed stomach. I took a sharp inhale through my nose before responding.

"Y-Yeah, just everything I guess," I said and the movement stopped. I guess my tone was alarming because she looked up again.

"Good or bad?" she wondered. It was the first I had seen her look that vulnerable.

"Good of course," I assured her, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.

"Just making sure," she smiled, scooting up until our faces were directly beside each other.

After a moment of silence I spoke again.

"So what does this make us exactly?" I asked.

"Well… I like you and you like me." She looked at me for confirmation.

"I _really_ like you," I confirmed. She grinned at that.

"Well now that we know our feelings for each other, why don't we start at the beginning? You know, tell our deepest secrets, go on a few cheesy dates, all those movie stereotypes we secretly love."

"Sounds good to me," I chuckled.

"Well then, now that the serious stuff is out of the way…I _really_ want to kiss you," she stated, dropping her gaze to my lips. The corner of my lips crept up in a smirk. Taking the hint, I leaned down, but she placed a finger on my lips to stop me. "_However_, I think we should do our morning rituals first." For a moment I was confused until I realize she was subtly referring to the fact that we both probably had morning breath.

"Fine, rain check then?"

"Mhm, now I think I'll go take a shower. Want to join me?"

Even if she was joking, my face may have reached its brightest shade of red.

* * *

I had headed back home from Alice's around noon. We both had things to think about and I thought it was best to give us both some privacy.

Around three Jacob called to inform me that the Honda was finished. So I caught a ride with my dad since he was heading up there anyways. Things were strange between him and me, mainly because I hardly saw him and the fact that he spent way too much time with Sue Clearwater. I tried to be understanding, but could you blame me for being a little suspicious?

And my parents' relationship was even stranger. They seemed to respond to one another in flat, one-lined responses. It kind of made me wish they were fighting because then I'd know they still thought things were worth fighting for, instead of being content with the fact that they hardly spoke.

It also made me feel kind of bad for being out of the house so much, knowing I'd be feeling just as lonely as my mother, but I could hardly handle being in the house when it was so tension filled, especially when both of my parents were there at the same time.

So for the whole car ride to La Push, I hardly acknowledged my father, shooting down any attempts he tried to make at a conversation. It was a bit immature on my part, but it's not like I had much history voicing my problems other than last night.

"Bella can you please talk to me?" The desperation in my father's voice made me look to him.

"About what?" I had definitely made it pretty obvious that I didn't want to talk to him.

"I don't know… anything? Your mother said something about you and the new girl getting pretty friendly. Does she know that you're-"

"Yes dad, she knows. And if you were around more, you'd probably know that."

"Bella, you know I wish I could. I've just been busy at work."

"Bullshit!" I didn't even flinch at the warning look he gave me. "You can lie to mom, but you can't lie to me. I'm friends with Leah remember? And I've seen you at the Clearwater's with my own eyes."

"Fine you're right Bella, I have been at the Clearwater's and keeping it quiet because Sue doesn't want people to know just how badly she's handling Harry's death. And if I ever hear you swear like that, at me especially, there will be hell to pay."

Alright I felt like complete shit.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "But shouldn't you tell mom that? She deserves to know and she'd understand more than anyone. I thought you were _cheating_ Dad. Just imagine whatever she's thinking."

"I-I'm not cheating Bella and whatever it is that your mother and I are going through, it shouldn't make you think that you have the right to speak to me like that, alright? I'm your father, remember that."

_If you were around more, maybe I would remember that. _

"Yeah, I know," I responded, bringing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them as I stared out the windshield. The conversation was done anyways.

I didn't entirely believe him, but I decided to at least pretend that I did.

* * *

"Bellsy!" Jake shouted from beside Leah. They were both leaning against the work table in the garage when I walked in.

"You're the second person to call me that," I grumbled, scowling in Jake direction before taking in the sight of the Honda. "Holy shit Jake, this looks amazing."

"I know," was his smug reply. "Quil and Embry were a big help too since someone had better things to do apparently."

"Or _someone_ to do," Leah snickered.

"W-What?" I sputtered.

"Didn't you and Alice get down and dirty? Play poke-_her_. Do the horizontal polka. Bump and gri-"

"Okay Jake! I get it! And no we didn't. Where did you get that idea?"

"Well we saw you two outside and- what you thought we'd stay with those assholes after you left? You must really think lowly of us… and anyways, yeah we tried to catch up with you to see if you were alright, but then we saw you guys smash lips and backed off. Glad you came to your senses Bells!" Jake was grinning like some proud parent after their child won an award.

"Uh, thanks? I think." I was looking at him skeptically. Jake seemed to be bordering between best friend and lurking stalker.

"Mhm, now we want all the details," Leah demanded, crossing her arms around her chest. Jake nodded in affirmation.

"Well, when we were leaving the party we talked and then I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes… then she had me drive her home since she was a little buzzed. Then I spent the night with her-"I leant forward to smack Jacob's shoulder when that familiar grin crossed his features indicating his thoughts were in the gutter. "-this morning we even talked a bit about our feelings and decided to go on our first date."

"She's growing up so fast," Jake faked a sob.

"It's like we hardly know who she is anymore…" Leah shook her head pitifully.

"Which calls attention to another important matter…why the hell were you two playing tonsil hockey in a _fucking_ bathroom?" I exclaimed and they both suddenly finding objects around the room more interesting than my question.

"So Bella… how do you think Charlie will react to the bike?" That was Jake's attempt to change the subject, which wasn't too bad. That was something that had been nagging at me for a while. But there were more important matters to discuss at the moment. Like why my best friends were hooking up.

"Stop deflecting and tell me. How long has this even been going on?!"

"It hasn't, it was just last night. I was drunk and Jake was a warm body," Leah confessed. I didn't miss the hurt look that temporarily crossed Jake's features before it was quickly masked.

"Yeah, just a little lapse in judgment," Jake shrugged nonchalantly, but I knew he cared. "And now that we've settled that-"He clasped his hands together. "-how are we going to get Charlie to let you take the bike?"

* * *

I ended up heading home on my bike before my dad, but not before swinging by a thrift shop to get all the basic supplies like a helmet, boots, glove, etc. I sent my dad a quick text after I left the store that said I caught a ride with Jake, in reality I just wanted to take it home first before he could say no.

I was a little rusty at first, granted I hadn't ridden a motorcycle since the summer before sophomore year. Quil's older brother had taught a few of us to ride and even let us take it for a spin a couple times. Back then I had been obsessed with getting my own motorcycle and as soon as I turned sixteen I got both a Class C and M license. I had even refused a car in hopes of getting a motorcycle, but my father was convinced that motorcycles were for 'delinquents'. Obviously if you had only _Sons of Anarchy_ to reference to, you'd probably assume the same thing.

So once I had one, there was no way I was going to part with it so easily. My father would just have to learn to deal with it or else I'd have to take my chances on the open road… okay nothing _that_ dramatic, but I definitely was passionate about keeping it. Knowing my mother, I knew she wouldn't exactly be too delighted, but she wouldn't say no either. Unlike my father, she was a lot more laid back and open to new things. It always made me wonder why they chose to move to Forks out of all places. A place like California would've been more fitting for her.

Just like I predicted my mother had been a bit shocked when I pulled into the driveway. The engine made enough ruckus that she had come out outside to check and see what was making it. Her expression was priceless; though I was too busy being concerned to really think much of it.

We ended up having a long conversation, but eventually she gave in and said she'd be okay with me riding it as long as I wore all of the safety gear. So it was one parent down and another to go but mom assured me that she would talk to my father for me.

And boy did they talk. My father's first words when he entered the house were: "why the hell is there a motorcycle in our driveway?" I kid you not. I just stayed in my room during the conversation -well argument technically-, mostly because yelling scared the shit out of me and there was much of it.

I knew my mother had won when my dad shouted to "just let her have her damn bike" and then the sound of the front door slamming echoed through the house, followed by an equally powerful slam of my parent's bedroom door.

It didn't feel much like a win though, more like I had just started a war.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Update: Rawr... I'm angry. There is another story where Bella has a G!P and I'm certain they copied the scene I wrote a while back during the sleep over, except they edited some parts of course. I'm pissed. Extremely pissed. Like really people? I thought I accidentally clicked on my own story for a second. Stealing is not appreciated. It's called 'Bella is that you?' and they said they'd give me credit, but never did**__**. Lying, stealing bastard. **_

* * *

_**Even if a life has started out awfully, it is bound to get better. Though we don't notice the small changes, we do notice ourselves smile a bit more each day.**_

* * *

_**[Monday]**_

That morning I had high hopes of arriving to school early so I wouldn't stick out like sore thumb on my motorcycle. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out as planned when my father decided to intercept my path towards the front door, sitting me down at the kitchen table for a thirty minute lecture about my motorcycle and how I was expected to be responsible with it.

I ended up getting out of an extra ten minutes when I reminded him I'd be late for school if he went on any longer. He reluctantly let me go then and I all but ran outside with my backpack. Glancing down at my phone's screen before sliding it in my pocket, I saw that I only had twenty minutes before class started.

"Damnit," I hissed aloud, pulling on my helmet and running over to the curb beside the driveway. My father made it clear that he didn't want 'that thing' taking up space in the driveway. It was convenient for me anyways though since it would've been an extra hassle to pull out of the driveway.

After securing my backpack and I threw one leg over of the bike and moved the kick stand out of the way, using my feet on my both sides as support. I managed to start it up easily as opposed to last time and did a quick u-turn. Then I was speeding down the street towards the direction of the school.

I felt as if I was in a state of euphoria as I raced down those streets. The scenery passing by in a dazzling blur and the wind rushing past, causing my hair to flow out behind me. It was kind of like walking down the street, listening to music and suddenly this song comes on that you haven't heard in years starts to play and seems to go perfectly with the moment. That's why I was smiling widely beneath my helmet because I genuinely felt happy.

That smile soon vanished though when I was forced to slow as I pulled into the school parking lot, all eyes head turning in my direction. You remember that scene in _Mean Girls _when Cady walked into the gym and everyone stopped talking and just stared at her? Well, just imagine that, but in my setting. I was used to stares, but after the whole incident on Friday I had been hoping to fall under the radar.

As if right?

Luckily there was a spot available in the back so I wouldn't have to cruise past everyone, but the way they were just blatantly staring at me; I knew it hardly did much good.

Shutting off the engine and flipping out the stand, I balanced one leg on the ground and threw my other leg back over, backing away and righting myself along with my backpack.

I didn't look back as I tugged the helmet off my head and placed it on the seat of my bike. Instead I just combed my fingers through my hair, attempting to tame the case of helmet head I probably had. It wasn't until I heard footsteps behind me that I stopped, fearing it was one of my many tormentors. Fortunately, I spun around to see Alice, who looked just about as shocked as everyone else.

"Perhaps I wasn't listening, but I swear I would've remembered something about you riding a motorcycle." Alice eyed the bike before looking to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Well the guy you met yesterday, you know Jacob-"

"The guy who hit on me," Alice nodded.

"Yeah him," I grumbled, a bit peeved that, that was how she identified him. "Anyways, he's the one that fixed her up-"

"You call it a _her_?!" Alice giggled, but shut her mouth at the pestered look I gave her from being continuously interrupted.

"…yes, I call it a _her_. All vehicles are identified as female," I stated as if it were the most obvious thing. "Anyways, back to the story, Jacob was fixing this for me, but I was never really sure if I could ride it since my dad has it in his head that they're for delinquents."

"They kind of are Bella. You won't notice it at first, but slowly you'll turn into one. It might start with you taking an extra milk carton at lunch, then you might start parking in the handicap spot because you think it's cool, and then bam! You'll rob a bank. Motorcycles promote the highest rate of delinquency."

I just gaped at her, trying to figure out if she was joking but she seemed as if she had never said anything more serious in her life. But slowly, _very _slowly, a small grin began to appear on that beautiful face of hers.

"I was hoping you were kidding because just about everything you said was completely inaccurate Alice. Besides we don't even need milk, why get two cartons? We're actually the only species that drinks milk beyond infancy that's from another species," I informed her, blushing at the amused expression planted on Alice's face.

"Sorry, I tend to 'nerd out' sometimes." I said embarrassingly as we made our way over to the school entrance.

"That you do, but it's why I love you." I noticed Alice's step falter slightly at the comment, something she _never_ did and I'm sure I did too. I chuckled awkwardly, trying to dismiss the tension and instead focused on the sight of my locker that wasn't too far ahead.

Neither of us said much more except for a 'bye' before parting and making our way toward our respective lockers. Mine -thankfully- was closest to the entrance, but Alice's was further down the hall next to Jessica Stanley's. If it were any other person, I'd feel bad for them, but Alice seemed to be the only person in the world who could disarm the over-talkative girl easily and not be completely hated. I had asked Alice how she did it, but she said a magician never spoke of their secrets, which meant it was by means of magic. I kind of figured.

I was a bit confused on how I should've interpreted Alice's previous words. What kind of love was it? The kind you just threw around when you found a pair of shoes you liked or was it actual _love_, love? By the way she reacted it was kind of hard to tell. Had she regretted saying it, knowing I'd probably overreact like this or were her feelings actually that strong? It was too much for so early in the morning. I should've drunken a cup of coffee since my mind seemed to be going as fast as one of those computers in the comp lab that were probably from prehistoric times.

The amount of looks I was getting weren't helping either, it was as if some spot light was following me everywhere I went and it made me even more paranoid than usual. I was kind of glad I wore a belt that day in case someone wanted to repeat history. I noticed that in all stories I've read and movies I've watched, no one ever pants the person wearing a belt. It's a bully's kryptonite.

Stuffing my helmet on the top shelf of my locker and my backpack on the bottom one, I exchanged the books I'd need for the first two periods and slammed it shut, heading over to my next class. I wouldn't be seeing Alice until fourth period since we had Biology together, which kind of sucked, but it was something to look forward to at least. She always managed to make it entertaining, especially when she'd crack a joke about how obvious Mr. Banner's toupee was and I'd have to duck my head so he wouldn't see how desperately I wanted to laugh. The thought reminded me of Alice's own laugh, that sweet, hypnotic laugh of hers.

Trapped in my thoughts, I bumped into another figure before I managed to move away, but with my footwork I probably would've ended up doing some strange spastic movement that ended me up on the floor. So maybe colliding with another wasn't so ba-

_Oh shit it's Lauren_.

I backed away quickly, almost tripping over my own feet and waiting for her to send some biting remark my way, but she only glanced at me once.

"Sorry," she mumbled, barely audible and made her way down the corridor to my right.

What the actual _fuck_?

I could only stare after her with wide eyes, just waiting for her to turn around and say something, _anything_ because I was used to that, not _this_! Maybe Ashton Kutcher was even in on it and everyone would have a good laugh. Maybe I'd even join in too because there was no possible way Lauren Mallory would apologize, _to me_ to make matters even stranger. She could tear at your self-esteem repeatedly until _you'd_ be the one apologizing, but she never apologized. It wasn't her thing.

But she didn't turn back. Instead she disappeared into her classroom and never even looked back. Like apologizing was a normal occurrence! Maybe _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ was indeed real -like I tried convincing my father when I was seven- and Lauren was the first clone. You had to admit, it made a whole lot more sense than Lauren apologizing.

Sort of.

* * *

Things only got stranger as the day passed. For one, I didn't have a single insult tossed my way. Maybe they all thought I was emotionally unstable after that somewhat melt-down at the party or perhaps I had earned their respect, probably the prior as opposed to latter, but a girl could dream.

Secondly, things were _incredibly_ awkward between Alice and me. About as awkward as flipping off your whole senior class at prom and then remembering you still had graduation the next day. That actually happened last year and it was hilarious- but that was beside the point. The thing was neither of us spoke about her little slip up or even acted as if it affected us, but there was still this odd tension that said it indeed had. I mean it didn't feel like that much of a big deal, yet I felt myself overreacting anyways because it was just what I did.

And as strange as it may sound, I start humming _The Joker_ by Steve Miller band when things get awkward. So say or do something strange enough and I'll start thinking about space cowboys, which is what I did when we headed over the cafeteria during lunch with Angela when the third and final strange thing happened.

I was trailing behind Angela and Alice who were engaged in some debate I could hardly keep up with. Those two were a peculiar match when they were together. They were nothing alike, yet they were. Despite obvious differences, you could just watch how the two interacted with each other and know they were related. It was kind of entertaining to watch.

"So do you go out or stay in?" Alice asked, looking over her shoulder to include me in the conversation once more. My head jerked up since I had been mainly focusing on the ground with a hint of a smile on my face.

"Stay in for what?" I questioned.

When Angela moved through the open doors of the cafeteria, she looked back at like I was crazy then back to Alice, who was looking at me with the same expression. I only shrugged a bit unsurely, completely confused as we filed in after her.

It's kind of what you get for not paying attention to people's conversations. They always blind side you like that, assuming you were listening the whole time.

"Bella its Halloween," Alice gestured to the light fixtures where orange and black streamers loosely hung from. I guess it explained why I had seen more than one person wearing a hockey mask and the banner that even said 'Happy Halloween'. As you can tell, I wasn't very unobservant of my surroundings, usually passing things off as regular acts of simple human weirdness. But I had a lot on my mind, sue me. Halloween wasn't even my favorite holiday. Even as a child. I found it pretty pointless to walk around in some uncomfortable costume you bought for forty bucks just to wear one night of the year to ask strangers for candy when adults specifically told us _not_ to take candy from strangers. Talk about a contradiction.

"How did you not notice?" Alice asked with a hint of amusement in her voice. I guess it was pretty funny. One time I even forgot my birthday when I turned fourteen and my mother had to point it out to me.

"I don't like holidays much," I shrugged.

"Why not? Not even your birthday?" Alice teased.

"Yup, I completely despise my birthday," I deadpanned as we walked over to our table and an incredulous expression took over her features. We sat down at our usual table in our typical spots; Alice right beside me with Angela right across from us.

Alice shifted in her seat to face me, plopping her backpack on the ground between our chairs while I let mine hand from the back of my chair.

"I'll definitely change that. When is it?"

"It already happened in September."

The way her jaw dropped, I guessed she was pretty surprised that my birthday had been able to pass so unnoticed, but the whole school either hated or either ignored me so it's not like there were balloons and gifts flying my way. I did however get a not-so-joyful birthday card from Lauren taped to my locker, but I had yanked it of before Alice could've seen.

How Lauren even remembered my birthday, I did not know.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Alice shrieked and I cringed back a bit. She sounded genuinely pissed. It was just a birthday for crying out loud or as I referred to it, remembrance of another year we grew closer to death. Morbid, yes, but true nonetheless.

"Wasn't that important I guess," I muttered.

"Bella it's your birthday! It should always be important!" she scolded me.

"I kind of take after my dad though and birthdays aren't really his thing either," I shrugged. I should've despised how much alike my father and I were, but it was nice to have someone so similar when I felt so different from everyone else.

"I pity your mom," Alice mumbled, pulling out her lunch container which reminded me I still had to buy lunch, but when I looked up to the line, I let out a low groan. I had waited too long and now everyone was already waiting. I could've asked to share with Alice since I'm pretty certain she would've said yes, but that was a definite no. She always ate salads. We were human beings, not rabbits. Now fruit? That was a different story, but salad… don't get me started.

"See you guys in a few minutes." I made my decision. I'd rather wait in line for a bunch of half edible food than _salad_ and that's what I did. Pushing my chair back, with my hands splayed on the table, I got up and headed over to the string of teenagers, not missing every glance passer byers sent my way.

This must've been how celebrities felt and not the goods either. The ones that were infamous for doing something bad. You know, like Lindsey Lohan.

Joining the back of the line, I tried to keep my head down though I knew there was no point, just like the people who covered their heads with their jacket when the police carted them off. A lost cause, but it made them feel a bit better.

I ended up having to wait for seven minutes and I was still behind two people, which definitely sucked.

_Take your time people_.

Glancing behind me to see if any other poor bastard had slipped in too late like me, I had to do a double take, my apple falling off my tray at the sudden jerk and watching as _Lauren Mallory_ knelt down and held it out for me to take. Forgot _Invasion of the Bottom Snatchers_, this was _The Twilight Zone_.

"Are you going to take it?" She asked, cocking at an eyebrow at me. There wasn't the typical menace in her voice, which caused me to freak the fuck out all the more. Had she been kidnapped after the party and fed a spoonful of not-so-bitchy?

"Y-Yeah… thanks?" I wasn't sure if I should've been thanking her. She was a cruel and bitter teenage girl who had tormented me since I was twelve. So yeah, excuse me for being a bite apprehensive of her motives.

Avoiding skin contact, I plucked the apple out of her hand by the stem and set it back down in the container for apples when I was sure no one would notice. Yeah it fell on the ground, but we've all done it sometime in our lives! Don't judge me.

Lauren's lips pursed as she looked over at the apple before looking back at me. She looked like she wanted to say something, but then her lips went back into a straight line.

"See you later freak." With that she stepped out of line, having not bought a single thing and headed over to the 'popular' table.

There was the Lauren I knew and hated.

* * *

"What was Lauren doing over there talking to you?" Angela asked as soon as I sat down with my tray. Alice was looking at me too like she wanted to know, glancing over at Lauren menacingly.

"I have no idea," I answered honestly.

I had _no _clue. That girl was a mystery I did _not_ want to solve.

I ended up not even eating my lunch. My appetite had vanished completely.

* * *

Fortunately for my sanity, the rest of the day had gone alright. Hell the whole week had, well sort of. Lauren will still acting weird and things were still awkward between Alice and I, so maybe things weren't that 'alright' after all, but they weren't awful, which was definitely better than I expected.

On Friday after school, Alice and I had to part ways since I still had detention and she had to get home to get ready for Saturday, choosing an outfit took a day's worth of time apparently. You see, I had managed to build up the courage to ask her out Tuesday. I had wanted the location to be a surprise but she blatantly refused to ride on my motorcycle, which meant she'd arrive on Saturday around nine.

When I walked into Ms. Stinson's classroom, I was pretty surprised to see Mrs. Greene was already there, seemingly engaged in a serious discussion with Lauren. If she ever came in there, she'd usually come mid-way through.

Had Lauren told on me? I reviewed all the things I said to her couldn't recall saying anything that bad, which meant they were probably discussing something else. Besides we were juniors. Telling on someone was left back in elementary school.

Noticing my approach, Mrs. Greene turned to me.

"Hello Bella," she smiled. "Lauren was just telling me that you two have managed to settle your issues?"

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline and I locked eyes with Lauren. She was the main reason we were still doing this because there was no way in hell she'd 'play nicey-nice with the freak'. Though I was still pretty certain she hadn't grown a heart overnight, things definitely were progressing in a better direction with her. I didn't know why the sudden change in heart, but I wouldn't question it, not aloud at least.

* * *

By the end of detention, I was set on forgetting whatever the hell happened in there. Lauren Mallory was _nice_ to me. That was almost a traumatic experience and I couldn't be called dramatic for thinking so. She was a vicious. She was sadistic. But she was not _nice_.

What the fuck in the land of fuckington of fucknation was going on?

She had even made a _Breakfast Club_ reference while we wrote our essays. It was barely audible but I had heard it and laughed. Of course I caught myself, but I still laughed! I felt like I was betraying any other nerd in the world to be bullied for absolutely no reason. I should've hated her, should've called her every name in the book for messing with me like this or demanded to know her motives, which couldn't have been good.

Shaking my head, as if to clear my jumbled thoughts, I forced myself not to think about it. Instead I focused on Alice and the fact that we'd be going on our first date come the next day.

* * *

**AN: Hope I didn't offend anyone with the handicap spot part. I was mostly making fun of the people that actually think it's cool to park there. Anyways, tell me what you think in the reviews which are always appreciated! Next chapter will be the date! **


	13. Not Update

This is written during one of my _many_ episodes, but I'm certain that I'm finished with this story. Hell, I'm probably finished writing in general. You could say I've fallen into an even deeper state of depression. Who knew that was even possible. I don't say this to worry you either, but I've appreciated all of your support and you deserve a decent explanation. I'm sorry everyone. I tried and I was good for a while but it won't just go away and things have become too difficult for me to really have motivation to do anything aside from lay down all day. I wish you all the best and again, I'm sorry.

Sincerely,

S.


End file.
